Page 84 of Maple Mountain
I took the spot on the bed next to her.
“How was candle making?”she asked, turning her head to peer at me.
“Fun,” I admitted.“Thanks for watching Mildred.”
“She’s fun to watch.”She lifted the dog off her lap and brought her to her face.She burrowed her nose in Mildred’s neck and took a few deep breaths.
“You want to tell me what happened?”I asked, my tone soft.“Your dad called me in a blind panic when he couldn’t get you to talk to him.”
“It’s stupid.”
“I doubt that.Feelings are never stupid.How we handle them ...well, that’s another story entirely.”
“I don’t think I handle mine well,” she admitted.
“Can I tell you a secret?”I leaned closer and bumped her shoulder with mine.“Neither do I.”
“Really?”
“Really.”I smiled at her.“Sometimes it feels like my emotions are too big and my body is too small, and I just can’t contain them.Yes, even my long, tall body feels small sometimes.”
She smiled, but it wavered.
I swayed back and forth to the music, not pushing Lenni to talk before she was ready.Finally, she said, “We were doing the family tree ...”
I nodded.
“And I was telling him about my grandmother—my mom’s mom.How I didn’t get to know her.And how my grandfather was gone before I was even born.”Her breath shuddered.“And when I asked about my other grandparents, he told me they already died, and I got sad.And then I got mad because I don’t haveanygrandparents.And I don’t have a mom.I just don’t haveanyone.”
She collapsed into tears and buried her head against Mildred who licked her cheek, which only made Lenni cry harder.
I felt my own eyes prickle, but I forced myself to hold it together.
Lenni cried with her whole body.Her shoulders shook—the sadness of her grief was an endless well inside of her.I was sure the force of it would break her apart.But eventually, her tears abated.She lifted her head and swiped at her cheeks.
“I didn’t used to cry this much,” she muttered.
“You should talk to Salem about that,” I said with a sympathetic laugh.“She was never a crier, but now that she’s pregnant she cries all the time.Kinda freaks me out.”
Lenni giggled.
“You feel lighter?”I asked.
She nodded.
“You want to go tell Archer that you’re not mad at him?”
“Okay.”She licked her lips.“My head hurts.”
“Yeah, I bet.”
I couldn’t stop myself from tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.She leaned against me and let out another quivering breath.
“Come on,” I said.“Let’s go make some tea.”
“Do I have to finish my project today?”
“Nope.”
