Page 70 of The Love We Deny
It’s not too cold for a December night in Rosehill. Enough to see your breath and wish you had worn a thicker coat, but not bone-chilling. The market has taken over the town square, with Christmas booths everywhere, selling all those last-minute decorations no one needs but will buy anyway.
And in the center of town, is a massive Christmas tree that the entire town is here to watch light up.
“Addie’s not coming?” Will asks, scanning the crowd as we walk, close enough to bump into each other, our hands hanging empty at our sides.
“Emmett’s sick, so she decided to go make him more miserable by forcing him to watch cheesy Christmas movies.”
“And Ollie?”
“Frank and Joyce brought him by earlier to do the kid stuff.”
He nods, his hands going into his pockets, and I notice the jacket he’s wearing for the first time. I recognize it. Brown leather, worn a little soft, smells like him… “I remember that jacket.”
He glances down. “I found it at my parents’. They kept some of my old stuff. Used to wear it everywhere.”
“I like it. You look good.”
He smiles, different from the usual smirk, as his hand comes up to rest on my back. “So do you.”
I meet his eyes, and I could kiss him right now except—
I nearly bump into someone. His smile melts off his face at the realization of where we are, looking around for anyone who might have seen. But thankfully, no one is watching.
“We can’t—” He starts to say, and I nod quickly.
“I know.” It’s the logical choice to hide. Rosehill is a small town, and Will’s reputation is still… what it is. The last thing either of us needs is to be the subject of whateverthatscandal would look like.
It’s only our first date. Maybe someday…
But someday doesn’t feel like enough right now, when I’m finally walking down the street with the man I’ve been pining for, and I can’t hold his hand or give him a compliment.
Moving through the market, we keep a casual distance. Family doing a Christmas activity together. That’s all we are to anyone looking.
Will stops at things that catch his eye, picking out something for Addie and his mom, paying with cash he brought for this. And I know he’s changed. He hasn’t given me any reason to believe he’s the same Will from before. But watching him spend his money on his family for Christmas heals something in my heart that’s been hurting for a long time.
I’ve never been more sure that he’s going to be okay.
“Man,” he says, stopping to look around at all of the Christmas decorations and the tree. “This was a lot less fancy the last time my parents dragged me here.”
“When was that?” I ask, stopping beside him.
“I don’t know. High school? Maybe before.” He takes a drink of his hot chocolate that he bought a few rows back. “Now I got you dragging me.”
“You planned this.”
He shrugs. “Based on what I figured a nerd like you would want to do.”
“That’s sweet,” I say, even though he obviously meant it as an insult. It doesn’t feel like one.
He scoffs. “It’s called being practical. I needed a plan, and this was going on, so.”
“Okay, whatever you say.” The smile on my face would have to be surgically removed to make it go anywhere. Especially when a pink that wasn’t there before blooms on Will’s cheeks.
He thought about this.
He can deny it all he wants. He thought about this, and he wanted it to go well.
We walk past a booth selling Christmas wreaths, and a woman, one of my patients, waves. Her eyes slide over to Will, filled with nothing but curiosity.
