Page 146 of Vicious Butterfly
I smile, imagining Tate’s handsome face. God, I miss him. “Yeah, and we’re gonna get us out of this situation. Don’t go with Kline. If you do, I don’t know if I can get you back.”
I don’t mean physically. Tate would burn down the earth to get me what I want, I know that now, but would I get this Griff back? I don’t know what he’d be after whatever Kline has planned. He’s been through things this semester that would’ve broken me. How much more can he take before he’s beyond anyone’s reach?
He closes his eyes and opens them again. “This is something I have to do.”
What the fuck? Is he choosing this? No. Can’t be. Someone’s manipulating him. Or they plain lied. How fucking frustrating. When will he see these people for who they really are? He takes it on, as if the way they treat him is his fault. It ultimately leads to him walking into their traps willingly.
I shake my head. “No. I won’t let them do this to you, Griff.”
“You don’t get to dictate my life either, Ryan,” he says, anger fusing with his weak voice, hands balling into fists.
“Hey, I … I thought we were a team.” My voice wavers. I get a weird-ass replay in my mind at light speed, of everything from us as kids all the way through to now. My stomach dips, a plunge like a roller coaster drop. Did I imagine it all? Was it my perception of reality? Was Griff just there while I dragged him along? Maybe we weren’t as close as I thought we were.
I always clocked that he didn’t feel like he belonged, which I blamed our father—my father?—for, so I did everything to make him feel included. To show him he was loved. I thought it bonded us, that he knew I did it all because we’re brothers and best friends.
“I wish we were a team, Ryan. But how can that be when you do everything for me? I’m useless.”
“You’re not useless, Griff. You’re everything.” What do I say to make him see? Time has run out. He’s slipping away. My brain scrambles.
“I have to go, Ryan. Go be happy with Tate and forget about me.”
“How can you fucking say that?” My voice breaks. I claw at my heart, unsure if I want to stop it from being ripped out, or if I should rip it out myself.
“Do you know why I t-t-tried to kill myself?” he whispers.
Everything’s hollow, like I’m in an echo chamber. His voice sounds more like a ghost haunting me than my favorite person who’sfinallyright in front of me.
“Because Father made you come to North Point.”
Don’t worry about me anymore …
Those words from his note.
They’re there, engraved on my damn ribcage with how close I’ve kept them to my insides. I thought he meant in connection to everything Father did to alienate him; he didn’t want to be around to aggravate him, causing me to worry.
If Father was out of the picture, so were all Griff’s problems.
Griff shakes his head. “Because I hate what I do to you. I hate that I’m your leech.”
“What?No.Griff, that’s not true.” He’s blurry now as the tears flood my eyes. My skin’s cold, tightening as the mud dries. “I love you. You’re my brother.”
“Half-brother.”
Something in my chest snaps. More hot tears. The room swims with the humidity of the day, seemingly getting hotter by the second.
“Don’t do this, Griff. Don’t fucking let them win.” How long does it take a heart to break? I think mine’s still breaking. Pain. So much pain to an organ that was never touched.
The door swings open. It’s fucking Kline. “C’mon, son. It’s time to go.” When he speaks, I catch that he’s missing a tooth.
It dawns on me now that Kline hasn’t said much during this whole ordeal, which is unlike him. Something’s very fucking off—besides the obvious. Am I in a nightmare? If I am, I need to wake the fuck up.
“No. You’re not taking him. I won’t let you have him.”
My father and the dean block the door. And I guess they decided they might need backup after my conversation with Griff, because Major Carter and Major Jarvis are there.
Where’s my damn backup? Shouldn’t Gideon be here to save his black cat? And where’s Beckett? He was so worried about Griff the night Tate and I got married, but he’s not here for this.
Speaking of, where the fuck is my husband?
