The stupid question I blurted without thinking and he got part way to answering is as good as anything. He doesn’t take people home, but he never told me if that meant he doesn’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Riley’s never mentioned anyone, but Bas is pretty private. He’s the strong silent type. The type who won’t talk about himself unless you drag it out of him. So that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.
With a sigh, I tug my beanie off and run a hand through my messy hair. “Hey, Bas—”
At that same moment, he turns to me and says, “Listen—”
I break off with a nervous laugh. “Oh, sorry. You go first.”
He looks back at the dirt road in front of us, and I catch a muscle tic in his jaw. I’ve pissed him off. He thinks I’m going to make this weird, but that’s the last thing I want.
Before he can speak again, I get all flustered and lose my cool. “I just wanted to say I get that it was an accident. Back there on the trail?”
“Yeah. Fuck. Of course it was. I would never—”
“No, I know. And I want you to know that I’m not going to get awkward about it.”
I have, though, haven’t I?
“Right. Yeah. Of course.” Bas looks uncomfortable.
I hurry on, making more of a mess of things. “Because I know where we stand—well I know your thoughts because there isn’t aweand there won’t be and I know that. I mean you made that clear.”
By this time we’ve arrived back at the station, and he parks the truck and turns to look at me. “Vera, there will always be a we.”
I blink in confusion, my scrambled thoughts flying around and around in circles about those words. Always. We.
“You… your whole family is so important to me, and I would never do anything to mess that up.”
Oh. Right.
My throat gets tight and my cheeks heat at the tears welling in my eyes. I don’t want to let him see me cry about this, though. Not again. So I force out an awkward laugh and punch him on the arm. “Come on, Bas. I know that. I’m like your little sister. So I won’t tell Riley you groped my tits if you don’t.”
His face goes white. “Fuck no. We can’t tell Riley.”
“Good. Glad we got that sorted. Come on, jedi master, don’t we have some more exciting paperwork to do?” I swing around and open the door, sliding out of the truck without waiting for him. On the short walk to the door of the station, I swallow back my tears and firmly fix my smile in place. Back to being his little sister. Back to trying hard to forget whatever I thought was happening for a hot minute there.
He follows after a moment, and I stand aside and give him plenty of space to unlock the door before following him in at a safe distance. Which is really, really hard because I could just about live off the rich musky scent of him today. I noticed it when he grabbed me to stop me falling off the path. Like it hit me with the full force of an explosion.
He smells so good I want to slide up beneath his shirt, bury my face between his considerable pecs, and lick him, which is a thought so embarrassing I turn away to hide the way my face goes crimson.
How come I’ve never noticed it this way before? And what the hell am I supposed to do with this information for the next two weeks?
What the hell is wrong with me today? You’d think no one had ever grabbed my breast before, that I’d never smelled a man before.
That last part may as well be true, because not a single guy I’ve ever taken home ever smelled like cedarwood, bourbon, dark honey, and long, warm hugs by the fireplace. None of them smelled like long winter nights spent not sleeping…
“Hey, Vera, you listening?”
“Hmm?” I turn, hoping I’ve composed my face into an expression that doesn’t make it look like I want to devour him.
“I said why don’t you write up a proposal for landscaping that trail, putting in some vegetation? We can submit it to the district superintendent for funding.”
I latch onto the welcome distraction, managing to keep my mind occupied for the rest of the day.
The silence between us has gone back to feeling awkward, though. And I don’t know what to do to make that right.
At least Mom is having a good day today. After dinner, she’s relaxed and smiling, with no tension in her neck. She listens to me talk about my first day and praises my idea for making the trail to the hot springs safer.
“Anyone up for a walk?” She stands, gripping the edge of the table for a moment, but a second later she’s standing straight without any sign of unsteadiness.
