Page 24 of Landry
“I don’t want this,” she muttered without heat.
“I do. I need this.” Easing back, he stared at the face that had captured first his interest and then his heart. It had taken little to make the leap. He was in love with her, even more now than ever. When he had been forced to leave, it had been a boy’s wild passion, a fantasy, and he had kept that picture of her in his heart and mind. Over the years, the picture had faded, untilhe convinced himself that he was over her. He cupped her left cheek, the tenderness twisting her up inside.
He had always had that gentleness to him, the care and concern for her feelings and the way he touched her. Her eyes clouded as she was thrown back to the first time they made love. He had been gentle then and had shed tears when he hurt her. Back then he had dove in too fast in his eagerness. Passion had made him careless, and he had begged her forgiveness. That’s why she had never been able to comprehend why he had left her like that. It never meshed.
Not wanting to revisit that painful part of her life, she started to move away.
“I’m not at liberty to tell you why I left.” He had read her well. “All I can say is that I suffered just as much as you did.”
Her eyes darkened at that. “I seriously doubt that.”
“Kady-Ann-”
“No.” She shook her head firmly. “I don’t want to talk about it. Please let me go.”
His grip tightened. “I want you to come home with me.” His voice took on an entreating quality. “I want to make love to you. Need to actually.”
Even though her heart thudded in response and her limbs went weak at the look on his handsome face, she found the will to refuse.
“No.”
“You’re afraid-”
“I’m being smart and cautious,” she corrected him. “I don’t care why you left, but that you did. I still have the note you sent with your servant.” She hadn’t meant to tell him that much.
He went still at that, his eyes boring into hers. “I don’t-”
“I remember the wording by heart: ‘Kady-Ann, I’m sorry, but it’s over. I hope you’ll understand. Landry.’” She gave him a challenging look. “I thought it was a mistake. I questioned the poor man until he was backing away from me. No doubt, he thought I was losing my grip on reality. I tried calling you, but you didn’t pick up.”
She tilted her head as the memories turned inward. “I went crazy and persuaded Kyle to take me to your place. You weren’t there. Again, more servants told me that you were gone. And they had no idea where you were and when you’d be back.”
She shook her head. “I insisted on looking inside the house, and when I found it empty, I broke down. When Kyle wouldn’t take me anymore, I borrowed my dad’s car when he was home and came over myself. I did that for a month.” She stepped out of his arm when his hold slackened and ignored the stark pain on his face.
“Kady-Ann-” His throat felt as dry as parchment paper. His limbs were jellied. His heart felt as if it was pounding through his flesh. He felt detached and useless. Her words slashed into him with the sharp precision of double-edged swords.
He was bleeding inside, and it struck him that no matter the fact that he was not at liberty to share the reason with her, he did not have a right to ask anything of her. It would be best to leave her alone.
But he couldn’t. It was plain as the nose on his face that he could not stay away from her.
“I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you.” The words were inadequate as hell, but he did not know what else to say.
“You can’t,” she stated baldly. “If it’s a quick tumble you want, I dare say I can accommodate you.”
His eyes flared at that. “That’s far from what I want.”
“Then I can offer you nothing else.” She turned away to pick up her things. “I’d be a fool to allow you to hurt me again. I need to leave.”
He let her go, this time. He figured he owed it to her to let her have her way for now. Her words reverberated inside his head, causing a dull, throbbing ache that was spreading to other parts of his body. He stayed far away from her as she exited the room and followed behind. Even inside the elevator, they stood apart as if the distance could erase the emotions, the hurt, the pain of the past. With a friendly wave to the security guard, she stepped from the building and headed to her car.
He stepped to his car and, without a word, opened the door and got in. He waited until she had backed out of her parking space before following her.
***
“This had better be a damn emergency. You’re making a habit of interrupting my beauty nap.”
“Rough day?”
“And night. Two GSWs and a two-vehicle accident. What do you want?”
