Page 33 of Red Masquerade

A few guys behind him snickered. I saw them crowded all around one car, presumably one of theirs, one girl chewing gum, her hand tucked into a man’s elbow. She eyed me up and down.

They eyed me like meat, the men. But what was new?

“Can you drive me home?”

“You in the city?”

I nodded.

“Then, sure.” He smiled and led me over. “We were just heading out.”

They watched me approach, eyes roving, the girl grinning and snapping her gum.

I just wanted to go home.

“Where to?” I climbed into the backseat, one of the gentlemen helping me in.

They all clambered in after, and I realized it was one of the first times in a long time that I was totally on my own, with strangers, Flora and Dixon not just a cry away.

“We don’t know yet!” the guy who grabbed me said jovially, and he slid into the driver’s seat after starting the car. It sputtered a few times, garnering a few laughs, and we all jolted together in the backseat, arms and shoulders squished together. The girl sat on her man’s lap.

After a few lurches, the car sped off down the drive, its speed impressive. The wind ran its fingers through my hair, ruining my curls, whipping my hair around my face, sticking to the rouge on my lips.

The wind is free. I was not.Not yet.

I shut my eyes, just to feel the caress of the wind, the press of the other bodies on my arms, all of us packed in like sardines, butit was grounding. When I opened my eyes, I caught the gaze of the girl, and she laughed so carefree, I felt jealousy roil in my gut.

The weightless feeling from before was so distant, it wasn’t real. Like a sensation from a dream. I could only hope to be so carefree.

But Adam—

I slammed my eyes shut and pushed it away. I couldn’t do it, couldn’t think about it. I would shatter.

What came next was hours of being slung around the city. We snuck into a dinner club next, none of the group having an invitation, and treated ourselves to the rich gin-infused drinks that sat for the taking along one wall. There was also a bar, but of course, the tender would likely recognize their usual patrons, and that we were not.

The girl at one point linked her arm with me, pulling me toward the dance floor, and though the band played a tune of soft, soothing jazz, she moved us around the floor like we were professionals. Perhaps she was, she certainly had moves.

My feet ached, my head pounded, and only liquor could help.

I don’t know how many clubs or bars we crashed, but at some point, we were chased out by a shouting doorman, raising his fist and yelling indecipherably. Words went in one ear and out the other.

It was all a fever dream.

I was floating, letting it all happen to me, bobbing along like on ocean waves.

One of the guys had taken a liking to me and stuck by my side, shooing me out ahead of him as we were chased to the street. The whole group laughed, uncaring if there were consequences.I gripped his arm harshly once we were outside, knees nearly buckling.

“Should we get you home now?” he asked.

I nodded, unable to form words in my state, somewhere between incoherence and contentment.

And then somehow, we were on my street.

“Stop!” I shouted, and whoever drove the car broke so harshly I nearly rammed into the seat in front of me. Laughter spilled out of my lips. I stumbled onto the pavement, the door slammed behind me, and they sped away.

We were a few houses down from mine, and the few hundred feet I had to walk felt like miles. But then, I was there in an instant. I had to lean on the front door and take a few breaths before I entered. Already, parts of the evening were escaping me.

When I rolled into my bed, I realized I hadn’t learned any of their names. It was like they had come and gone in a flash.