Page 88 of All That Remains
An hour later we were chowing down on Vietnamese and a smorgasbord from Fat Sal's Deli, which he swore by. I ate shirtless so whenever things dropped onto my chest, Rome leaned across the table to slurp it off, which left me in stitchesevery time. After dinner, we moved into the living room where "Cheap Thrills" played and I jumped up and down on the sofa, rocking out to the song until he tackled me to the floor.
There we sat across from each other, drinking the last of theStellasand disclosing the weirdest stories from our time apart. He spoke about a fight with his uncle before moving to the U.S. The uncle wanted to borrow a substantial amount of money to jumpstart some shady business venture, but Rome had cut him off because he'd become rather exploitative.
"Sick fuck, he is.”
“Yeah,” I uttered, with a nostalgic smile. Remembering the uncle all too well.
“Always drumming up some dumb fuck idea—which never amounts to anythin’."
"Remember the wireless headphones pitch?"
"Yeah, how could I forget?" he scoffed. "He just wouldn't listen. Mate, I told him they already existed. Who doesn't get that? That you’d makeno moneyfor peddlin’ someone else's idea?" I burst out laughing. "Then I'm supposed to feel like a dickhead for not bankrollin' everythin' he puts forward. Like I'm turnin' me back on me own family."
"I've gotten a few ofthose emails. People crawling out the woodwork looking for handouts, especially when the band ended. They find the weirdest excuses as well. It's like, just admit you want the bloody money and leave it at that, mate. Don't bother making up fakeillnessesandprocedures,especially for children and puppies.Ugh, I can't begin to tell you how many surgeries I've paid for, for'family'I haven't evenmet."
"Oh yeah?" he gazed over at me, brow furrowed.
"Some werelegit, of course. But many were just bullshit,y'know?"
"True. It's always the step-in-laws or—"
"Something, something, twice removed," I chuckled.
"Man, Ihatemoney. No one ever believes me when I say that, but I do."
"I believe you," I reassured him, draining the last of my beer. He'd been saying it for years, now. That sentiment emboldened him to walk away from millions in the last year of touring.
"I just hate how itcontrolseverythin', y'know? It becomes people's greatestmotivator. Like agod. From what I've seen, there's nothin' pure about it. There can never be anythin' pure about it. It’s the root of all evil.”
“The love of it, anyway.”
“You can't really trust people's intentions when money's involved...most of the time. And when you have alotof it, it just brings more problems. More weirdos knockin' at your door with their hands out, so to speak."
"And there's only so much you can buy and collect before you realize, it amounts to nothing.Noneof it matters at the end of the day. You can’t take it with you when you die. And die you shall.”
“Exactly,” he nodded.
“Also, I’ve noticed…none of this materialistic shit makes a bit of difference if you're ill. Health is truly wealth."
"Well said, Rafe,” he dapped me up. “And the people you keep around, too. Family, friends—the ones who still fuck with you no matter what. That’s true wealth."
"Yep."
He began to make a paper airplane out of the deli menu. I tucked my hair behind my ears and picked at the cuticle of my big toe where he'd gotten polish on the skin. It was dark out now, and all I could see when I looked through the sliding doors was a vivid reflection of the two of us. We looked alright together. Like it was meant to be, despite a few subversive years.
"Y'know, Rafe, everythin' towards the end just felt like a long, scary dream, if I’m honest. I never really told anyonethat before, except maybe a few therapists. Then I finally woke up...onlyrecently."
"Oh yeah?"
"I was so, like...removedfrom everythin. A doc called it dissociation. I think I might've been smokin’ too much, which didn't help. Towards the end, I'm walkin' out to an arena filled with tens of thousands of screamin' faces and just felt blank.”
“Nothing? Not even in the stadiums?”
“Nope.”
“Mate, those nights were mad! Even the floors would shake. Theystillgive me chills.”
“Literallynothin', bro. Especially not the stadiums, because everything was so vast it sort of faded into the backdrop and became one big blur.”
