Page 87 of All That Remains
"Pretty fucked up, innit?"
"Where do we go from here?"
There was a moment's silence before he shrugged.
"Marry me," I murmured, only half-serious.
"Okay."
"You don't mean it. You never do."
He reached over and snuffed the cigarette in the ashtray on the nightstand then lay with his back to me.
"Be completely honest with me, alright?" I began.
"Okay..."
"How does she make you feel?"
"Who? Mila? I dunno.Normal, I guess. Grounded...fun. Mostlyalright."
"Ok...now tell me...how doImake you feel?"
"Rafe..."
"C'mon...be honest with me. It's a simple question." He hesitated, so I cleared my throat. "Please? Just this once? Don'tbullshitme on this—"
"Insane...confused...frustrated..." My spirits plummeted until he dug deeper. "Safe...hidden...honest..."
"I’ll take it."
"How do I make you feel, then?"
"To be honest...nothing," I cackled. He tickled the back of my knee until I nearly pissed myself. "Alright, alright!I'll answer!" I gurgled with laughter. "All of the above, of course. And, uh,whole...unafraid."
Drake's "Crew Love" scored the moment and was so unfitting I couldn't help but smile.
"So are you gonna give me briefs to wear this time?"
As I got dressed, he stepped into the hall to take a call, but rushed back in with a panicked expression.
"Mila's here!"
"What?!Fuck’s sake!”I blurted. “Oh fuck, oh fuck!”
“Grab your shit!”
I glanced around, flushing beet red, trying to grab anything that might've indicated my presence. He did the same. Luckily, my car was parked on the street a good distance from the driveway, so she wouldn't suspect anyone had stopped by. Rome brought me my rings and necklace and shoved them into my hands, urging me into the closet to hide. He uttered a quick'I'm so sorry'before shutting the doors and leaving me in total darkness.
Almost immediately, her voice filled the room. The sound of her heels against the polished concrete was an absolute bane. I could smell her perfume from a block away. She spoke flippantly of her day, laughing every other word. Rome told her he'd been writing, and that he'd been in the studio all day since she left. She playfully admonished him for not making the bed, and when she went to fix the sheets, he stopped her. I heard them kiss. She whimpered and I cringed, swallowing the bile rising in my throat.
He said he thought they were meeting at her place tomorrow. She replied they still are, but she'd left her phone, which is why she called from a friend's. Once they found it on the counter in the bathroom, they headed out of the master suite and the conversation fell beyond my earshot. Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” was the only sound that remained.
I let out a breath, convinced we were in the clear, but registered the state I was in. Tucked away in the closet,lights off. He'd forgotten to turn them on for me. It was a large closet, and I had plenty of room to move about, but somehow, I felt crammed away. Worse, interred. I sank down against the nearest wall and hugged my legs.
Fuck’s sake, I was a homewrecker. The mistress, the other woman. Always the fucking secret. Unworthy of being spotted with him in the light of day. And just as those familiar ruminations began to overwhelm, the closet door flung open and he was kneeling before me. Apologizing profusely. Kissing all over my face.
***
