Page 79 of Lord of Passion

"I didn't want you to be here," he says, and if I didn't know that he doesn't "do" emotions, I would think that Nikandr sounded sad.

"But… isn't that why you're here?" I ask. "Because Johann took me?"

"Did he?" he asks. He's still gripping his Glock, finger on the trigger, it's pointing down. There are soldiers moving around us, like we're rocks in the stream and I can hear gunfire ripping through the house.

We stare at each other until Roman walks over. "The house is secured," he says. "No Johann." He glances at me briefly. There's no warmth there, no hostility either, just… nothing.

"You weren't kidnapped," Nikandr says. "I saw the footage. You came to Boston on your own. You evaded Isaak and Rafail. You walked up to Johann at Faneuil Hall and left with him willingly."

"That part- that was not my choice!" I say shaking my head furiously, hair flying like I'm trying to drive all of the ugly words out of the air and clear it. "I came here because Johann told me he had information that would hurt Liria. He sent me just enough to know other crime families would still blame her, they would think she was colluding with that rat fuck Dritan, all the horrible things that have been happening, and that- that he would that would make it look like it was Liria behind it."

The words are coming out faster and they're not really in order. "Something about a Krasniqi kind of attack, Johann said." He flinches slightly, every time I say Johann. "The rule is something the rule of – "

"Three." Nikandr says quietly. "The Rule of Three."

"When I came here, he laughed at me and said that there's nothing he would give me to protect Liria until I signed the annulment papers. He actually thought I would get our marriage annulled and marry him. He's fucking insane of course you probably know that though –"

"You came here to Boston of your own free will." He repeats it like he's trying to center himself back into the lanes of rational thought. "I'm not here to rescue you, Caroline."

"You don't understand!" I shout. The words are coming faster now trying to convince him, make him understand. "He's upstairs." I point frantically up the stairs. "Dritan Krasniqi.He was still alive. Johann's been keeping him here because he loves him. He's Dritan's protegee. I…" I'm dizzy. Sucking in a deep breath, I say, "I killed him. Krasniqi. For everything he did to Liria. Well, he killed himself," I babble. "But mostly, it was me."

He nods to two of his guards, I know them. Illary and Renat. We played cards together once at the penthouse when we werewaiting for Nikandr to come home from a trip. I kicked both their asses in poker.

They each take an arm. "You need to come with us now, ma'am," Renat says quietly.

"Wait! Nikandr, I'mnotwith them."

He does the worst possible thing. His face settles into his old lines, cold, contemptuous. He looks away from me, I'm trying to yank loose from the guards but they're pulling me harder. They take me out, past Morozov men, some are frowning, and other guards stare at me with contempt, others look away.

"Look under the pillow on his bed!" I shout. "I made him kill himself!"

They drag me out the front door and put me into a van.

Chapter Thirty-Six

In which there is stress baking and despair that even a mint brownie can’t fix.

Caroline…

The flight back is acutely painful.

Isaak and Rafail will not look at me, and I don't blame them. I betrayed their trust and opened them up to punishment if something had happened to me.

Alexsey, at least, smiles at me before sitting down with Roman and Nikandr. I'm in the back, surrounded by guards. How could Nikandrpossiblythink I wanted to see Johann? That I was feeding him information?

He's not wrong, I think miserably. I suddenly insisted on flying to Boston. I escaped my guards. In the Morozov Bratva, traitors are killed. Would my husband kill his own wife? Or, have someone else do it? A surge of nausea hits me, and I fold my hands over my stomach. The horrors of the last two days are stacking up like a Jenga tower, ready to topple and send my sanity screaming down with it.

"I need -" I stand up abruptly. "I need to go to the bathroom."

Renat stands to escort me back and I shut the door in his face before dropping to my knees, vomiting violently. I haven'teaten since yesterday at lunch, so there's not much. Still, I keep heaving for a long time until I realize I'm sobbing.

Everything in my life has collapsed in twenty-four hours. To the Morozovs', this is worse than my brothers betraying Liria. I don't know how I can prove why I was there. Based on how Nikandr looked at me at Johann's crumbling mansion, how he had me carted away, I don't think he's going to give me a chance to try.

Washing my face, I look at myself in the mirror. My eyes look dead. My face is pale.

Fuck this, I think.I'm not a traitor; I'm not going to let them make me feel like one.I put on my customer service face. The one I wear for surly and aggressive guests. The one I wear to soothe the precious feelings of a deeply entitled rich boy who demands special services. The customer service face that means, you can never upset me.

I walk back down the aisle, ignoring everyone's stares, looking out the window for the rest of the flight.