Page 129 of Baby Girl
Chapter 69
Emery
I chew the side of my finger as I stare at the screen, still a little shocked that all those words came out of me and that I actually hit send.
My fingers itch to delete the message, but there’s no point, because it has already changed toReadstatus.
Fuck.
I shouldn’t have sent that to this internet stranger. Sure, they’ve had an up-close-and-personal look of my pussy milking a purple cock, but that was different. Transactional.
This is intimate. This is personal.
This is my life.
All the messy details, right there, on a screen for some random person to read.
But…the utter relief from sharing everything with someone who is unbiased in this situation is making me lightheaded. Like, maybe they can take the weight of all the decisions I need to make. Or at least help me organize my thoughts on this entire thing.
Finally—fucking, finally—a bubble appears and a message quickly follows.
EyesOnYou:That is a lot to deal with. What part is causing you the most stress?
I laugh, a watery-sounding thing, then take several attempts at a reply before I hit send.
Me:All of it, if I’m honest. It’s turned itself into a knotted ball of wool in my head, and I can’t seem to find the ends.
EyesOnYou:Before I start handing out sage advice, was this a venting session, or would you like help unraveling your ball of wool?
The relief I was feeling from simply getting it off my chest is nothing compared to the tsunami that floods my body as EyesOnYou offers to fix my problems for me.
Me:Help unravel, please x
EyesOnYou:Okay, baby, I can help you with that.
EyesOnYou:My first question is, do you want it to be over with them? The answer to this question will help with the rest of the issues.
EyesOnYou:If you do want it to be over, then yes, I would recommend sending the termination letter as your friend suggested. This will ensure that everyone knows exactly where they stand.
Me:I guess that’s the problem. I thought I did want it to be over. At the time, when I said red, I meant it with every cell in my body.
I pause, because I don’t know how to say this next part. I don’t know what the words are, just the feelings, and I really fucking wish I had my sketch pad so I could draw it and send them the picture.
EyesOnYou:But?
Me:But I miss them.
Me:But I’m also still so mad at them.
Me:They left me. Alone. For weeks. All they had to do was send me one freaking text message to explain what was going on. To trust me to not blow up their lives. Instead, they abandoned me when things got hard after promising me everything.
Me:How can I trust them again after that?
Me:And don’t just tell me to talk to them. I’m not interested in hearing their excuses.
EyesOnYou:Trust is a very tricky thing, especially with relationships of this nature.
EyesOnYou:Sometimes, it is easier to trust someone with your body than with your heart.
