Page 56 of The Laudanum Ladies' Society

Miriam rearranged her shawl and gave Jenny a slight smile that didn’t reach her eyes before bestowing one on Gwen that was a little warmer.

‘Thank you for telling me. Good evening to you both.’

Jenny stepped forward.

‘Miriam, wait please. Can we talk about what happened? I, you know I?—’

She stopped talking before she admitted how deep her affection ran, aware of Gwen listening.

‘I don’t think we have anything to talk about,’ Miriam said firmly. ‘You know my feelings about being deceived as much as anything else. Now you should both go home.’

She stalked off, walking fast enough that Jenny would have to run after her, which she was not prepared to do. Her belly lurched in misery, and she turned back to Gwen.

‘Is that the friend you meant?’ Gwen asked. She looked surprised, as well she might.

‘Yes.’

‘The one you wanted to set up home with?’

‘Yes!’ Jenny repeated, snapping. ‘I know it’s shameful and scandalous, and I’m sure you are appalled, but I can’t help it.’

She sagged against the wall as a sob rose up in her throat, choking her. Gwen remained silent for what felt like an eternity before clearing her throat and speaking quietly.

‘I don’t know what to say. It’s not something I have ever encountered. That woman is the reason you want to end our partnership? To set up a home as lovers! Even if she were a man, I’m not sure how good a reason that is. How long have you known her? This infatuation—’ her inflection on the word was a knife in Jenny’s stomach ‘—it’s bound to end and then where will you be?’

Jenny covered her hands with her face in a futile attempt to gain control of her emotions, momentarily forgetting that she was dressed as a young man.

‘It has ended already. Don’t you see? Miriam wants nothing to do with me, and it’s because of what we are doing for Augusta. My only way of trying to make peace with her is to give that up. I have to.’

‘But I can’t. I won’t,’ Gwen said. ‘I’m perfectly capable of continuing to make and sell the tincture without your help.’

Her voice was hard, and Jenny thought how different she was to the meek woman who had first been coerced into producing the tincture.

‘So, where does that leave us?’ Jenny asked.

Gwen raised her brows. ‘It leaves us going home and going our separate ways.’

Jenny swallowed. Her mouth tasted bitter, and she wanted a drink and her bed. ‘In that case, come along, Mrs Walters. Take my arm and I will see you back to your loving husband.’

Gwen sucked an audible breath and Jenny felt a little twinge of guilt at the barb, though only a small one. For all Gwen’s talk of infatuation, her marriage was hardly a shining example of conventional love. They walked in silence until the point came for them to part. Jenny could see Gwen home, but she felt little inclination.

‘Good evening to you, Mrs Walters,’ she said coolly and Gwen slipped her arm free of hers. They both nodded formally before Gwen crossed the road and walked away.

Jenny bowed her head and trudged home. The sky was light and the heavy, wet smog was becoming a more summery, dry and dusty version. She found it incredible that a matter of months ago she had been filled with hope and had two new friends, and now it appeared she had neither.

Chapter Seventeen

The house was in darkness when Gwen returned home. Archibald’s animated snores resonated down the stairs as she climbed them. She paused outside the bedroom, but decided not to go in. Her mind was too full of what had happened that evening for sleep. She would only lie awake beside him becoming more annoyed, and she might disturb him when he needed rest.

She smiled wryly to herself. Did she need that many reasons not to enter her own bedroom? The truth was, she didn’t particularly want his company. She had not forgotten his earlier cold words and his indifference, much less the blow he had dealt her. She crept past the bedroom, upstairs to the attic room and lay down on Archie’s small bed, throwing her coat over herself as an extra blanket. By the time he had left home, Archie had been almost too tall for the little bed.

Tears prickled her eyes and she sniffed. When she had first discovered her pregnancy, she had been terrified of everything it meant, but as soon as she had held the red, shrivelled bundle she had been a lost woman. Archie owned her heart and soulin a way that no other being had. She missed him, and it was worrying that he still hadn’t written home for so many months. She made up her mind to write to him rather than wait and trust that his address had not changed.

She rolled onto her side and closed her eyes, but as she had anticipated, she was too restless to sleep. What had started off as a simple visit to Jenny had led to such astonishing revelations and, of course, the argument. It had blown up out of very little, though Jenny had clearly been upset at her friend Miriam’s coldness.

Friend!

She couldn’t bring herself to think of the rather intimidating woman as Jenny’s lover.