Page 44 of By Blade, I Love
We slept in a second-floor bedroom.
My father’s primary suite was spacious with an outdoor terrace, but I would need some time before I was able to move in there. I had to go through all his things and decide what to keep and what to toss, and that seemed like too emotional a task right now. We should probably have a funeral first.
I slept like shit all night. Even with Wolfe beside me, I couldn’t relax. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw my dad’s body in the hallway and my brother crying as he lay on the floor. I would jerk awake again and look in the shadows of the bedroom I didn’t know.
By the time I woke up the next day, it was past noon and Wolfe was gone, probably getting to work on all the things that needed to be done. After I left the bed, I saw the duffel bags on the floor, and when I unzipped them, I found the things I’d taken to his place. He must have had someone go back to retrieve it all so I would have my things.
I took a shower and stood under the warm water for a while, just staring at the colored tile and thinking about all the events of my life that had led me here. I stepped out and looked at myself in the mirror, seeing my wet hair clinging to my face and neck. I looked different—at least, my eyes did.
I got ready for the day, put on a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt, and then headed outside. When I walked down the steps and looked at the dirt road, I expected to see dead bodies everywhere and cars sprayed with bullets, but the road was clear, like nothing had happened.
“Frankie.”
I turned at the sound of Elio’s voice, the closest thing I had to an uncle.
He walked up to me but stopped several feet away, like his presence wasn’t quite welcome. He looked at me with that fatherly gaze, concern and sadness in the lines around his eyes. “You doing okay, sweetheart?”
He’d never called me that before. “Not really.”
He gave a nod. “Yeah, me neither.”
“Are you hurt?”
He shook his head. “Wolfe said you killed Warren.”
“Shot him in the face four times.”
“Good. Your father would be proud. He’d be proud of you for so many things.”
But I would never hear him say those words in the flesh.
“I was wrong about Wolfe. We all were.”
I didn’t gloat. Being right gave me no satisfaction at all. I knew it didn’t make Wolfe feel better either. At the end of the day, my father was dead and gone, and no amount of arrogant self-righteousness would bring him back.
“He’s right for you.”
Wolfe had always been right for me. Since the moment our eyes connected. Since he’d cut his arms however many times just to get a moment of my attention. Since he’d kissed me and told me he wanted me and would never let me go. I wished my father had seen that too. But he didn’t, and now he wouldn’t dance at my wedding. He wouldn’t hold my children when they were born. The loss was so unnecessary, and that was what made it hurt so much.
“I know you’ll do a good job running this place. Whenever you’re ready, let me know what you need, and we’ll get to work.”
“I need some time. I feel like we should have a funeral.” My father had a lot of friends in a lot of places. For a reserved man, he was quite social. Maybe it was just about networking, but he seemed to care about everyone he mingled with. Remembered the names of their children and even their grandchildren. To him, business and friendship went hand in hand.
“Yeah, we should,” he said. “Maybe we can do it here. People can pay their respects at his grave, and then we can have dinner on the terrace like we used to. I think he would like that.”
“Yeah, I do too.”
He moved a little closer to me and pressed his hand on my shoulder. “You know I’m here for you, Frankie. Whatever you need, I’m your man.”
“Thank you, Elio.”
He squeezed me before he let go. Then he walked off.
“Baby.”
I looked behind me and saw Wolfe appear at the top of the stairs. He was in his dark jeans and a short-sleeved shirt, the skin of his neck glistening from the sweat. He’d probably been working all morning getting this place back in shape.
He came down the stairs but didn’t kiss me like he normally would. He seemed distant, like he wanted to give me space after the hard day I’d had yesterday. His eyes flicked back and forth as he took in my appearance, seeing the despair I didn’t try to hide. “You should eat something.”
