Page 42 of Tracked
“Your wild core isn’t soft or tame. It’s been caged. Locked away and silenced.” Her eyes drifted slowly between Lara and me. “I used to ask couples why they’d come here—what brought them to Wilderness Within. I don’t need to ask anymore.” Her confidence continuedto spread, smooth like butter from her mouth, and hunted for any trace of ego.
Growing up on the ranch meant limited contact with the outside world beyond a monthly trip into town for groceries, clothes, and to visit the library. After eighteen years of survivalist living, going to college and being around so many people had been a shock to my system.
Cassius might not have prepared us for society, but as in all things, adaption and evolution was still the key to survival. So I’d signed up for an introductory psych course my first semester.
As it had turned out, reading people and understanding their motivations was, at its core, very similar to tracking in the wilderness. They both involved seeing disruptions in nature’s patterns. Like how the bent blades of grass heading north from this small glen, and the subtle injection of self-importance in Maxwell’s altruistic air, suggested there could be more to the story.
Was she a full-blown narcissist like most cult leaders?Maybe. Maybe not.I’d found narcissism harder to detect in women, mostly because narcissistic men tended to be grandiose: overt, egocentric, and needing attention. Whereas women presented more covertly. In Maxwell’s case, the appearance of altruism and a desire to help could be simultaneously masking and fueling her need for superiority.
“I know you’re here because you feel like there is something missing in your relationship. Something broken. Well, I’m here to tell you not to worry; nothing is missing, just buried under the trappings and trauma of society, and it’s my job to reach inside the both of you and break that wildness free.” She acted out the notion with her hands, stretching them out as she spoke, locking her fingers tight together, and then yanking them apart. “There can be no secrets here. No hesitation. The only way this will work is with wild honesty. Wild intimacy. And wild trust.”
I listened, feigning complete focus. What kind of secrets did she coax her clients to reveal? Anyone who could afford $8,000 for a two-week retreat was the kind of person who could afford big secrets.
Was that where her money came from? Drugging her clients and then blackmailing them with the protected information they gave her?
“Are you ready to break free, Lara? Calder?”
I nodded as Lara answered, “Yes.”
“Wonderful.” Maxwell’s smile spread. “Then let’s begin.”
Chapter 11
Lara
I could see how easily my sister would’ve been swept away into this experience. How catastrophically eagerly she would’ve believed the promises Wilderness Within made about the retreat and what it would do. The steps they took to insulate you from the world. And I could imagine how fluidly Dr. Julia’s words would’ve reached her. A life raft amid a sea of bad relationships.
If Wilderness Within were a real program, I’d be grateful.
If it were real, I doubted there’d be a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach like there was now.
“We’ll start in the shallows of your relationship. An oath to each other. A warm comfort we can wade back to once we enter into the deep.” Dr. Julia’s dulcet voice glided through the clearing like a bending breeze.
I wanted towadeinto the campsite and look for Rachel, but I’d picked this path. Subterfuge versus stakeout. Ruse over restrained reconnaissance.A fake relationship with Calder Stone.
It was that part that filled the pit of my stomach with a swarm of butterflies.
“If you could both turn and look at each other,” Dr. Julia continued, her smile hardly moving.
My head tipped as I looked at the man beside me, only to find his gaze was already rooted around me like the arms of a tree, strong and decades deep. I shivered.
“Good. Now, Lara, if you could repeat after me: Calder, I promise to you my wild honesty and my wild intimacy.”
Oh god.My throat constricted. Forget subterfuge—this was sabotage.Self-sabotage.Admitting to things that I should never admit to. I tried to swallow, but my nerves clawed at the sides of my throat. What had I said?The best lies were rooted in truth.
“Calder.” I inhaled. “I promise to you my wild honesty and my wild ... intimacy.”
Was it the breeze that made his shirt tighten over his shoulders right then?
“Now, Calder. If you could repeat the same back.”
“Lara, I promise to you my wild honesty and my wild intimacy.” His collected tone skipped over the words like a rock across the water’s surface, hardly disturbing the tension that had tangled them on my own tongue, and yet there was still a ripple of ... something. Something he wanted to ignore.
“Wonderful. This is our tether—your promise to each other to move through this program with heroic honesty,” Dr. Julia continued, and I welcomed the reprieve to turn back to her.
My gaze roamed a slow path over her placid face. She was very pretty—more so in person than in the photographs Callum had found online. She was the kind of person one would say had aged gracefully, butgracefullywasn’t enough for her. No matter how calmly she spoke or how slow her movements, her forehead never creased, and no crinkles formed at the corners of her eyes when she smiled.
“Lara, I want you to share what draws you to Calder. Presently. Every day. Not the initial spark of your relationship, but the wick in his core that continues to make you burn for him.”
