Page 52 of One More Dare
I turn to face him fully. I have no reason to be ashamed of my search. “What?”
“Why are you looking that up?” he demands.
I guess it does seem a bit random that I’m looking up queer sex terms in the locker room after our game. “Porter made a joke, and I didn’t get it,” I explain.
Nathan looks at me skeptically for a second then shakes his head and puts his headphones over his ears, then immediately pulls them off again like he changed his mind.
“Just—” he starts, then stops. Clears his throat. “Maybe be more careful doing shit like that in public. Some people are assholes.”
I study him for a second, trying to figure out why he’s being so weird about this when he’s never cared who I text, flirt, or go home with before. Not that I’ve gone home with Porter in the “hookup” sense yet, but he has no idea I’ve been thinking about that. Is it just because Porter is gay? I’ve tried to give Nathan the benefit of the doubt, but his cryptic comments are really pissing me off. We’ve been close for years, but if he’s going to be a homophobic dick then I have no problem cutting him off if I have to.
“Do you have an issue with my friendship with him?”
“No.Idon’t,” he says firmly, making me feel a tiny bit better. “But the other guys?—”
“Fuck other people. I don’t give a shit what any of these guys think. If someone is going to be an asshole because I’m looking something up to educate myself and not sound ignorant, fuck them.”
He nods, and puts his headphones back on before exiting the locker room, leaving me feeling unsettled. He said he doesn’thave a problem with it, but then why does he continue to bring it up?
Distracted, I change and start throwing my shit in my bag. I’m one of the last people in here now, so I’ll have to text Porter back when we get on the bus.
23
PORTER
I’m not sure why I made that joke, I shouldn’t have, and now Will’s not responding. A follow-up text seems a bit too desperate though.
Oh god, and he’s around his team! Now I’m picturing Will shouting out, “What does vers mean?” in a locker room.
RIP to me. Cause of death: ill-timed gay humor.
I roll onto my stomach and shove my face into my pillow, groaning. I wasn’t trying to be suggestive. Okay, maybe I was a little. It’s been so much harder to act with normal friendly behavior since the whole flirty Daddy night. Clearly, I should’ve learned my lesson in the past, but I’m only human. It’s not my fault he’s so hot and nice, and I’m apparently always drawn to what I can’t have.
I peek at my phone again because I have no self-control.
Still nothing. Fuck.
It’s only the first full day away from him, and I’ve already made things weird. It should be day two, but he came to see me yesterday before he left for the bus. I’ve been telling myself it’s because he wanted coffee and not that he’s dreading the time apart as much as I am.
But it will be good for us.
Forme.
The distance will be healthy—the space I need to get my head on right and remind myself why I shouldn’t go down this path again.
Besides, one text that he doesn’t know how to respond to is no big deal. Maybe he’s doing something else. His coach could be talking to them or they could be checking into their next hotel. I don’t know. Will just usually doesn’t shy away from things, so I kind of feel like he’d ask me if he didn’t understand rather than ignore me entirely.
Probably.
I can’t keep lying here overthinking this. I should get up and do something instead of wasting away waiting. I need a distraction.
But the second I move and swing my legs over the side of my bed, my phone buzzes, and I’m unlocking it so fast.
Will
I did have to Google that, but yes, I’m vers on the field. ;p That’s a good one.
Oh for fuck’s sake!
