Page 54 of Prickly Pair
Every time I saw Austin, my entire body leaned toward him like a flower in the sun.
My heart beat faster than hummingbird wings. Given where we’d left things, I wasn’t sure what to make of him being here.
“What do you want?” I asked.
Austin sucked in a breath, his eyes roaming around the room before landing back on me. “Can I take you out for dinner?”
I froze in my tracks.
A week ago, I would have leapt at the chance for this. And it wasn’t that I’d stopped wanting Austin—I wasn’t entirely sure that want would ever truly go away. But I also just had one of the best couple nights of my life with Nick and Matthew, and I wasn’t sure what it would mean if I said yes to Austin.
Yes, take me out to dinner and know that I’m sleeping with your crush AND your rival?
That didn’t exactly sound like the best thing to say to him.
It almost felt fake, him asking me out to dinner. I’d known this man my entire life, and he’d never been the type of person to sit down at a restaurant.
The oven beeped and I wordlessly pushed a different rack inside, set the timer, then drifted closer to him until I was right in front of him. My head craned back as I looked into his eyes.
“I think it would be a bad idea,” I said finally.
His eyes became glassy, and I felt a spark of guilt.
“I . . .” He trailed off, but then cleared his throat. “I won’t pressure you into it, but if you’d let me, I’d like to take you out. And at the very least, I’d like to talk. I know I’m oblivious to things sometimes, but I feel like I have made a mistake in not . . .” He was struggling with his words, every muscle stiff. “I fucked up, and I’m sorry.”
“Austin, you didn’t fuck anything up,” I sighed. “Well, maybe. Sort of. But if you don’t have any romantic feelings for me, that’s okay. I don’t want you to feel obligated to take me out just because you found out I’ve had a crush on you.”
“I don’t feelobligated. I want to.” He lifted his cap and raked his fingers through his hair. “I’ve been so focused on getting by that I haven’t taken any time to think about the people around me. It’s not that I’ve never wanted you, I just never let mythoughts go that far. Then Dad died and I’ve just been staying afloat the last few years. But that’s not fair to you or anyone else.”
“Hey,” I whispered. I stepped closer, my hand settling on his arm. “It’s really okay. Like, really. And I was a little unfair to you last week. I . . .” My cheeks turned hot as I blushed. “What I said was mean, and I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way.”
“You definitely needed to, though,” he said. “Sometimes I need someone to be rough on me. It gets me out of my head.”
I knew what he meant. He was stubborn and sometimes got tunnel vision, even when he meant best.
Really, June and Avery had asked me a thousand times why I wanted him so much. There were so many answers, but one was that he always took care of other people. He did the best he could, even when he acted like an asshole. And he always owned up to his mistakes. When I was with him, he brought out parts of me I’d never known. He made me better.
Austin was one of the best men I’d ever known. He was handsome, smart, kind, and would have been the perfect boyfriend for me.
But now, things were different.
“We can just be friends, you know,” I said.
Liar.The word felt wrong in my mouth, but I still forced them out. I still wanted him, dammit. But it felt wrong for him to ask me out now. And with everything being so new with Nick and Matthew, and the fact that Nick and Austin didn’t get along . . .
I cleared my throat. “We don’t need to go on a date. We can just keep being friends. I don’t want to risk ruining our friendship.”
Austin sucked in a breath, his eyes widening. “I . . .”
“I just don’t want to run the risk.” My eyes stung, my heart pounding in my chest.
His eyes softened with pain. “We’ve seen it work out though,” he whispered. “For Avery. For June.”
“Right, but I’m not them and you’re not Levi, Mateo, or Dallas. We’re different people. And I don’t know Austin, when would you find time to date?”
“I’m trying,” he choked out. He shoved his hands in his pockets, his throat working. “I understand, though. We can be friends. I want you to still be my friend. I can’t imagine ever living without you, Evie.”
“I can’t imagine a life without you either,” I said. I held out my hand, even as I felt my heart shredding to pieces. “Friends?”
