Page 49 of Cactus Heart
He kissed me, his touch gentle as he pressed his lips to my forehead.
“I want this.” My cheeks flamed. “You know I’m kinky. Or well, I would be if I dated anyone here.”
“I do,” he said. “We’ve never talked about it in depth. You know I am too.”
I swallowed hard. I was nervous but I felt comfortable with him. The thing about Mateo was that I already trusted him. Iknewhim.
“I just want to be careful,” he said. “I . . .”
I pressed my lips together. I knew what he was asking—could I be kinky again? The last person I dated had shattered my entire life to pieces, and then my dad died. When I first came to Whynot, I’d been such a fucking mess.
But I’d taken the time to heal. I’d gone to therapy. And while there had been things in the sexual part of our relationship thathad been manipulative and harmful, I didn’t think that would influence what I wanted to do with Mateo.
“We don’t need to jump into anything today,” I said. “But I want to explore our kinks together, Mateo. And I need you to trust that I would tell you if something goes too far or if it brings up feelings from the past.”
Mateo nodded. “I trust you, Avery. I just would never want to do anything to hurt you.”
“I know.”
“I want to do this again. I want to do this over and over. I don't think I'll ever be able to walk away from you after today.”
He closed his eyes, his forehead still resting against mine. There were some insecurities between us. I knew we were both wondering if we were making a mistake. What if someone found out and tried to ruin things? What if my brothers found out and stopped being his friend or tried to make things a bigger deal than they were?
What if I fell in love with him but he didn't love me back?
This was the kind of relationship that would ruin me if it didn’t work out. Maybe even more so than the last.
There were so many questions, but no answers.
We were taking a risk. But I couldn’t stop myself from doing so. I’d wanted him for so fucking long and now that I knew he wanted me back—I needed to see what this could be like.
His mustache twitched with a sly smile. “I want to know what sort of kinky things you want to do with me.”
“I’ll tell you all about it after you fuck me senseless.”
Another stupid grin. I wound my arms around his neck, hugging him. Given how horny we were, it was something that was so innocent, but it was needed. Because even if we crossed this line, he was my friend. He would always be my friend.
At least, I hoped that was the case.
“Please,” I whispered.
Mateo let out a long groan. We couldn’t wait anymore.
He sucked in a breath and sat back as he grabbed hold of his erection. I swallowed hard, lifting my hips to meet the head of his cock. He rubbed the thick tip against my entrance, his gaze falling on my pussy. I watched his face as he watched me, moaning as he teased. I bucked my hips, begging for more. God, I wanted him. I wanted him so fucking bad.
He planted one hand to the side of my head, and I brought my legs up, spreading for him.
“I’ll take it easy,” he rasped.
“No,” I groaned. “I want this hard and fast.”
He shook his head. “You’re killing me, Blue.”
Mateo thrust forward slowly, even with my begging for it to be faster. Inch by inch, his cock filled me, all while I whimpered and gasped, stretching around him. My nails raked down his back as I gripped him tighter, the weight of his body perfect against mine.
“I can feel you milking me,” he gasped. “Fuck, you feel so good.You feel so fucking good.”
I couldn't even form words anymore. All I needed was him to fuck me senseless.
