Page 35 of Cactus Heart
“All right,” Lola called. “Class is over.”
I heard Avery snort and we all slowly sat up. I rolled my neck and adjusted my shoulder.
“How are you feeling?” Mateo asked softly. “Shoulder?”
I nodded solemnly. “It’s okay. Or it will be. Hopefully.”
Mateo nodded, but didn’t press. The two of us sat on the ground as our five—friends? Could I even call them that?—started to chat and move about, helping Lola get everything picked up around the gazebo.
Avery occasionally glanced over at us, her cheeks turning red each time. My heart rate picked up.
Mateo sighed next to me, and I couldn’t help it. I was going to be a little nosy. “What’s wrong with you and Avery?”
He mumbled under his breath in Spanish. “Estoy condenado a la soledad.” He shook his head. “Is it that noticeable?”
I glanced up as Austin and Dallas started talking to their sister. Meanwhile, both June and Evie stole curious glances at the two of us before walking Lola down the park path.
My stomach did a slow flip. “I think it is to everyone but her brothers.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Levi
My eyes watered as I twisted further, moving my right shoulder gently. The resistance band stretched. I rolled through every motion, throat constricting, trying to force my body to relax. I could do this. I’d done much harder things to my body in the past.
God, recovery fucking sucked.
I was torn between feeling angry that I’d neglected myself to this point and frustrated that I couldn’t handle what I used to be able to do. That I wasn’t as strong anymore.
Then there was the sadness.
It wasn’t something I’d given much thought to, but sometimes it came up, a tiny voice I could ignore most of the time.
Was I a failure for wanting to walk away from my career? The career I’d spent years training for? The amount of time and money I’d invested into being a hockey player was all going down the drain, and yet . . .
I winced as my shoulder twinged. My lungs dragged in a deep breath, my ribs stretching as I held it, forcing myself to release slowly. To exhale the sense of dread.
The good news was that yoga hadn't completely destroyed me this morning. I knew I was going to be a little bit sore, but I'd still felt good enough to do all of my physical therapy today as well.
I was going to get there. One way or another, I was going to build up the strength again. The flexibility. I was going to treat my body better. I deserved it, right? After so many years of pushing myself, this was what I needed.
My phone rattled on the kitchen coffee table. I continued to do my reps, staring at it. I wasn't supposed to be afraid of my phone, that was ridiculous. But there was a small part of me that feared what would be on the screen every time the notification came through.
Avoiding everyone wasn't a good idea. I knew that. But I didn't have answers for any of the teammates or the coaches who texted me. I didn't know what to tell fans, didn't know how to handle shit. Robin had told me to stay offline, but she hadn't told me how to handle all of the people that knew how to reach me personally. She didn't tell me how to handle their concern—a concern that made me feel small.
I knew that everyone meant well by checking in on me, but it made me feel like a failure.
God, it was probably time for me to set up a therapy appointment. Not the physical kind, either. I had been going regularly for a bit, but fell out of habit . . .
I finished my reps and then released the resistance band, plopping down onto the soft couch. It creaked beneath me as sunlight slanted into the living room, warming my shoulders as if to tell megood job.I’d even doneyoga. A full session, too.
I’d also witnessed firsthand the tension between Mateo and Avery.
Those two were always on my mind now, without fail. It was like clockwork through the day. One moment I’d be goingthrough the motions, the next I’d be daydreaming about kissing one of them.Bothof them.
What had happened between them? Had Austin finally caught wind of the romantic interest there and lost it?
I picked up the TV remote and flipped it on absentmindedly.
