Page 6 of Then Came the Fall
Not after all he’s done for me.
“Typically, I would tell you to go fuck yourself with a comment like that, but—”
“But I’m sick, right? So now you have to tiptoe around me? That’s exactly what I mean by pity. Go on, Taylor. Say what you really mean.” The poison in his tone screams like a tea kettle.
“Goddamn it, Matt! I just want to help you!”
“How can I believe that? After what you did? How can I believe anything you say?”
This—the point of contention I’d worried most about—hurts the most. “It was for your own good, Matt,” I rebut. “And it was a long time ago.”
“It wasn’t up to you. What you did was cruel. I loved you more than anything, and you lied to me, Taylor.”
Semantics,I tell myself.I meant everything I said. I just couldn’t go through with it. Still, it’s not worth arguing that point now.“I’m not asking you to forgive me. I’m just offering help.”
“But don’t you get it? I wouldn’t even be on your radar if it hadn’t been for this.”
“You have no idea where you fall on my radar,” I snap, recalling the endless hours I spent poring over his girlfriend’s social media the past seven years. “Say what you want, but I know that deep down you’re scared shitless, and so am I.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?” I counter.
“Because,” Matt says, “I don’t trust you. Also, I’m not the same person I used to be.”
“Bullshit.”
“Taylor, even if I forgave you for what you did,” he says, in a voice that’s less angry and more resigned, “you don’t want any of this. My life has devolved into something so unrecognizable that you wouldn’t last five minutes in it.” He sighs. “And I’m not strong enough to do this anymore.”
“To do what?” I ask.
“To watch you walk away again,” he replies. “To have history repeat itself.”
“It won’t.”
“It will,” he insists. “I’ve learned from my mistakes. And I refuse to let you break my heart this time.”
Chapter four
23 Years Ago
It wasn’t a meet cute the second time, either.
“All right, kids, since it’s the first day of a new session, today we’re going to work in groups on rotation. This way, you’ll all get a chance to experience a variety of the chores we do here on the farm. There are three stations: veggies, orchard, and feeding. I’ll count you off by numbers to keep it even.”
Sam, the head farm counselor, counted kids randomly and grouped them together. I looked at my group and shook my head.All boys? Ugh. This is the last time I’m signing up for farm.Class sign-ups had been the day before and in addition to swim (which everyone had to take), I chose dance, outdoor living, and farm. And the only reason I chose farm was because Sam brought a baby bunny named Scout with him to sign-ups, promising that any camper who chose farm as an activity would get to play with Scout every day.Lies, I realized. Instead, I was stuck in a group full of boys with exactly zero bunnies in sight.
“Okay, group one, you guys are going with Derek to pick green beans and cucumbers. Group two, you’re going with Joey to the orchard for peaches. Group three will stay with me to clean pens andfeed the chickens, goats, and pigs. I’ll blow a whistle every 20 minutes so you know when to rotate to the next station. Any questions?”
I raised my hand. “Yep, you there,” Sam pointed at me.
“When do we get to play with the bunnies?” A few of the boys snickered. Sam shot them a look.
“Thanks for the reminder. Before the period ends, we’ll do five minutes with the bunnies. Deal?”
I nodded, temporarily satisfied.At least the whole time won’t be a waste.
“All right. Head out!”
