Page 116 of Break Away
Ryan nodded. “Then don’t.”
“I mean it.”
“I believe you.”
“No, you don’t.” I looked at him, needing someone to understand the line before I crossed it again. “If I go back first, I’ll never respect myself. Not after that. Not after begging once and giving her the chance to make me hate myself for it.”
Ryan’s expression changed in a way I didn’t want to name. “Then don’t crawl.”
I scoffed. “What, walk?”
“No,” he said. “Stand still.”
I frowned.
“Stop performing. Stop trying to hurt her in every room you share. Stop turning every party into a crime scene. Stophanding her evidence that you became exactly what she feared.” He held my gaze. “Stand still and let her come correct if she’s going to.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
“Then you’ll know,hermano.”
I laughed, but it sounded tired now. “That simple?”
“Nothing about this is simple. I’m saying maybe stop pouring gas on it and acting surprised when there’s fire.”
I sat back with the towel loose around my knuckles and blood drying along the edges.
For the first time all night, I felt exhausted instead of furious, and that frightened me more. Fury was useful. Exhaustion left room for things I didn’t want to consider, like the way Aura had said she was sorry, the sound of her voice when she said I would know that if I had spoken to her even once, and the fact that I had read her texts and left them there, not because I didn’t want to answer but because I wanted to answer too much.
Ryan stood, collected the peas from the floor, and tossed them at me again. “Ice your hand.”
I caught them against my chest. “These are going to be disgusting.”
“They already were.”
I pressed the bag against my knuckles and hissed at the cold.
Ryan went to the linen closet and pulled out a blanket that looked like it had survived several bad decisions. He tossed it onto the couch beside me. “You’re sleeping here.”
“I have an apartment.”
“I know.”
“That means I don’t need your couch.”
“Tonight, you do.”
I looked at him. “You always this bossy with houseguests?”
“You always this self-destructive in other people’s houses?”
“Only when inspired.”
“Then be less inspired.”
A weak laugh escaped me despite myself.
Ryan’s mouth twitched like he would accept the win without acknowledging it. He grabbed the remote, tossed that too, then headed toward the kitchen.
