Page 111 of Break Away
I stared at it. “Very medical.”
“I’m not Bliss. I don’t keep a trauma kit organized by wound category and glittered edges.”
“Amateur.”
“Bleed quieter.”
I pressed the towel against my knuckles and leaned back into the couch as the adrenaline drained hard enough to leave me hollow. Rage had momentum and gave me somewhere to put my hands, my mouth, my body, and everything I didn’t want to feel. Once it burned out, only the wreckage remained beneath it, along with the memory of Aura’s face when I told her I had warned her what I would become.
The line felt good for exactly as long as it took me to see it sting. After that, it settled inside my chest like a stone.
Ryan opened the refrigerator. “Water or coffee?”
“It’s almost midnight.”
“So, coffee?”
“Water.”
He looked disappointed but slid a bottle across the counter anyway. “You sure? Water feels suspiciously close to self-care.”
“Don’t start.”
“I haven’t started. You’ll know when I start.”
I twisted the cap from the bottle and drank because my throat still hurt from yelling and from everything I had said too loudly in front of too many people. Aura had stood there with her chin raised and her eyes too bright, letting me carve at her because she had already carved me first.
Maybe that was the only version of fairness we knew how to use anymore. Maybe it was only cruelty with better posture.
Ryan leaned against the counter, watching me with eyes that had seen too much and trusted almost nothing.
“What?” I snapped.
He lifted one shoulder. “Just trying to decide how bad the damage is.”
“To my hand or my pride?”
“Both are concerning.”
“Then stop staring.”
“No.”
I laughed without humor and dropped my head against the couch. The ceiling had a water stain shaped vaguely like Michigan if Michigan had been kicked in the ribs. “Great. Hostage situation.”
“You’re free to leave.”
“Am I?”
Ryan’s mouth barely moved. “Not a chance.”
At least he was honest.
I closed my eyes, but that was worse because the second the room went dark, Aura appeared. Aura by the fireplace, herchin lifted and her eyes bright with fury. Aura smiling at me like every word I threw at her didn’t hurt when I knew it did because I knew the exact way her face went too smooth whenever she was wounded. I knew how her mouth sharpened when she needed to make sure nobody saw the pain beneath it. I knew what she looked like when she lied to everyone, including herself.
And I knew the worst thing.
Some part of me still wanted to believe she had been lying every time she said I didn’t matter.
