Page 25 of Jack's Legacy
Rachel nodded. “Please.”
They said quick goodbyes and grabbed their coats. Outside, the December air was cold and crisp, their breath forming clouds in the darkness.
When he clicked the fob for his SUV, she gasped. “You got a new vehicle?”
“Yeah, traded in the old truck I’d bought as a junker in high school. Thought it was time to have something better.”
She grinned as she buckled her seat belt. “Where do you want to go?”
Jack looked at her, at the hope and nervousness and desire in her eyes. “Anywhere. As long as it's with you.”
They ended up at a late-night diner, sliding into a booth in the back corner. The server brought coffee without being asked, recognizing Jack from his high school days. They sat with their hands wrapped around warm mugs, looking at each other.
Finally, Jack said, “I couldn’t wait to see you again.”
Rachel sighed. “I know. Me too.” She hesitated, pressing her lips together as though trying to figure out what to say. “But I guess we both needed the break… um… the time-out.”
“Did you?” Jack searched her face. “Need it, I mean?”
She shrugged, but Rachel's honesty was one of the things he loved most about her. “I’ve spent time making friends, joining clubs, and working hard in my classes. But Jack?” She reached across the table, but she hesitated, resting her hand on the surface a few inches from his. “I also figured out that none of it means as much without you to share it with.”
Relief mixed with guilt flooded through him. “You always sounded like you were having such a good time when we talked.”
“I was, but I missed you every single day.” Rachel squeezed his hand. She rolled her lips inward, pressing them together, then let out a shaky breath. “Are you... um… dating anyone?”
The question had been coming. Jack knew it would. And he owed her the truth. “There's a cadet,” he said carefully, watching Rachel's face. “We've spent time together. It's been easy to talk to her because we have so many of the same experiences.”
Rachel's expression shuttered slightly, her hand moving to cup her mug instead of staying close to his. “Oh… sure. Yeah. Um… that makes sense.”
He wanted to reassure her while not hurting her. “We’ve gone out as friends a few times. Mostly with other people, but a few times alone.” The admission tasted bitter. “But Rach, it didn't mean anything. It wasn't like you and me. It was just...” He struggled to find the words. “It was just… someone to talk to.”
“I see…” Rachel sighed heavily. She continued to hold his gaze and offered a little smile that looked more forced than real. She looked down at her hands for a moment, then sighed again. “I did the same… with groups. I didn’t have anyone… special… to talk to.”
He knew anyone as pretty and sweet as Rachel would have guys after her, but it still was a gut-punch to hear. Relief once again rushed through him, yet guilt that he’d found camaraderie with someone else flooded his veins.
“I was asked out.” She lifted her head to look at him before shrugging. “Nothing felt right.”
Jack ran his hand through his hair. “Why does it feel wrong?”
“Because even a time-out can’t change what is in my heart,” Rachel said simply.
The truth settled between them. They ordered food neither of them really wanted and eventually moved past the careful, edited conversations they'd had over email and short calls. They talked, but it was hard to breach the wall between them. Rachel told him about her classes and the apartment she and Cindy were sharing. Jack told her stories about the Academy and how he’d decided to give up baseball in his last year because he just couldn't keep up with everything. Eventually, the conversation became less stilted, and they talked until the diner closed.
Jack tossed money onto the table and took her hand in his, helping her with her coat. He was struck with the realization that what he and Rachel shared was deep. Bone-deep, soul-deep. No one he’d met came close to Rachel.
“I'm still hoping to be stationed at Norfolk Naval Base after I graduate,” Jack said as they walked to his SUV. “Then we could be together. Really together. Making plans and moving forward.”
Rachel stopped walking and turned to face him. “Jack, that's months away.”
“I know.” He cupped her face in his hands. “But I hate the idea of never getting the future we always talked about.”
Rachel's voice was small. “We've spent more time apart than together over the past couple of years. What if this is just us holding on to something that doesn't work anymore?”
“Does it feel like it doesn't work?” Jack asked, his thumb stroking her cheek.
Rachel closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. “No. Whenever I’m with you, it feels like coming home. But when we’re apart, it feels like… we’re broken.”
Jack rested his forehead against hers. “Let's just... take it one day at a time.”
