Page 19 of Loaned to the Leonid Knight

I told him I wanted to practice—then I fell asleep. Did he...She bit her lip and did a physical check without moving, assessing herself for aches and pains, for the raw, sore feeling she usually associated with sex.

Nothing.

Gideon didn’t. Gideon wouldn’t. You know that, or you would never have fallen asleep near him. With him curled around you. He was so kind and attentive to you, and he’s just a pawn in all of this, with even less choice than you had. If he does this for Farhet, he gets a new life. If he refused, he’d probably have been fired. I wouldn’t have been fired; I’d just have kept working at stupid, crappy jobs on Sapien-Three.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, ashamed for assuming the worst when he’d been so gentlemanly. Gentle-felidly?

Gideon suddenly snorted in his sleep, golden eyes flying open. “My Sasha?”

“Shh, I’m fine. Go back to sleep,” she soothed, patting his chest as best she could while his big, heavy paw weighed down her much smaller hand.

Speaking of large, heavy things... Sasha’s eyes widened as Gideon’s fluttered shut. Her gaze had drifted down and landed on the space between his thighs. His relaxed, loose cream-colored trousers were stretched taut in the front, and the light-colored fabric over the dark fur beneath made it clear that Gideon was huge.

Sasha’s thighs gave a sudden clench, body jumping. Some women would dream of such a thing.

She wouldn’t. Guys with miserable little dicks made sex so unpleasant, see-sawing in and out of her while grunting and cursing, five minutes of slamming into her, barely alerting her body to pleasure before they were done, and she was left frustrated and sore. Something Gideon’s size? Probably so much more than sore.

Maybe I’m bad at it?

Gideon’s going to think so, the way that I’m going to just hold still and wait for it to be over.

“My Sasha?” he asked again.

My Sasha. That’s... Wow. I haven’t been anyone’s anything in so long.“Hi.”

“You are scared of something?”

“What makes you say that?” she demanded.

“Your scent. It was so warm and sweet, so peaceful. But twice, I have smelled a sudden wave of fear, and I felt your leg jump. Do you want my tail off of you?”

“No! No, no. Wait, you can smell fear?”

“Well, there are chemical scents your body releases, like arousal, fear, and happiness. It’s the chemical release we smell.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t scared, I was just startled. In my neighborhood, if you sleep next to a guy, that guy might think he can do what he likes to you.”

Gideon’s tail yanked itself away as he sat up and scooted over. “You feared I would not wake you to ask you if you wanted to—to practice?”

“Something like that.”

“I would not do that. That is a sin and a crime. Queens must want a Knight’s affections. He should not thrust them upon her. Not that there aren’t bad men in every species, men who do what you are afraid of.” Gideon looked at her, then looked pointedly away. “Did someone do such a thing, my Sasha?”

“Not to me. The guys I dated were losers, but not outright scum.”

“But you thought I was scum?”

“Oh, God!” Sasha put her head in her hands, then pushed herself up. “I didnotthink that. I was so ashamed of myself for even being scared when I feel so safe with you. I was scared of the situation for a second, just waking up in an unfamiliar place, with a person beside me. Just the situation,” she repeated. She let her hand reach for his shoulder. “You’re wonderful, Gideon.”

He remained still for a moment, then nodded. “But the second time that you were afraid? Was it the same thing?”

It was very tempting to just say yes. It would make things less awkward and embarrassing.

But Gideon seemed to give off this sweet, noble quality that made lies shrivel in her mouth. “I saw how big you were. Down there.” She waved a hand vaguely towards his waist. “I got scared that it would hurt, because all the other guys I’ve been with haven’t made me feel good, even with their tiny little pricks.” She held her thumb and forefinger apart as far as they would go, about four inches. Gideon looked at her, and she gave him a rueful smile and spread her hands about a foot apart. “Not to mention, unless that’s all furry fluff, you look wide, too. Okay? And I’m sorry I saw. I feel like a peeping tom for even mentioning it.”

Gideon shifted, looked down at his crotch, and grimaced. “It happens to males in the morning at times. It is not because I intended to demand we ‘practice.’”

“Oh, I know!”