Page 110 of Raff
“Like… like the first day of summer break.”
“I’m gonna need you to elaborate on that.”
“Like the door was thrown open, and I was free, and there were no plans, only possibilities.” She paused as something dangerously close to hope built. But I couldn’t trust it, not yet. Because it could take a turn from there. She could claim that she liked summer break, but then after a while, the days grew long and boring, and she was craving the structure of school again.
“I don’t think I’ve had actual fun in years… until we went on the road trip. Some nights, my cheeks hurt from smiling. And I fell asleep wondering what fun new adventures we might have the next day.”
“I mean, I didn’t even care about the fancy hotel rooms or spas. I was excited about roadside hot dogs and ice cream with funky flavors and seeing weird animals I’d never seen before. And watching romance movies and doing crafts. And just… living. You make me feel alive.”
“That’s one hell of a compliment.”
“It’s true. I’ve been going through the motions for so long that it felt normal and comforting in a way. But it wasn’t living.”
“I can see that, baby. But you can’t compare everyday life to vacation. It will never be fair to the former.” And I didn’t want her to get my hopes up only to find myself dumped after she got frustrated with the lack of direction.
“But crafts and movie nights and fun food… that doesn’t have to be vacation. That can be life.”
“That’s true.”
“I’ve just been wondering lately if maybe… maybe it’s time to stop focusing on things that I can tick off on a list and, instead, chase the things that make me happy.”
“And is that me? Do I make you happy?”
“You make me… confused. And off-kilter. But, yes, you make me really happy.”
“And not just because of the orgasms?”
“The orgasms are nice, but, no, not just the orgasms.”
“So, what I’m hearing is… I am the man of your dreams, and you want to spend the rest of your life eating fun foods, watching romance movies, doing craft nights, and making cute babies with me.”
“I mean, you have to squeeze in building a developer empire…”
“That’s all on you, baby doll. I’m just here to bring your coffee and rub your feet and suck your clit until you can’t see straight anymore while you do that.”
“I think I can work with that.”
“I’ll even dress up for you on occasion.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“With one caveat.”
“Uh oh.”
“Each time I put on the fancy clothes for you, you take them off for me.”
Her head angled up, her eyes so soft it made my chest hurt. “That works for me.”
My hand slid up her spine, over her shoulder, then up the side of her neck to frame her jaw.
“I know you’re not here yet, but I do love you, Lula.”
“You’re wrong.”
“About loving you? I’ve had years to perfect it, baby.”
“No, you’re wrong about me not being there yet. I am. And I do.”
