Page 51 of A Merciless Husband
He chuckles, arm slipping out from beneath the blanket to find its way under mine and intertwine our fingers. “None taken. I can’t imagine how you felt, not knowing me as I knew you. Not even being raised in the mafia world. I still can’t believe how much they didn’t tell you or prepare you.”
I nod, looking out over the ocean. Now I’m the one feeling the depths of my emotions reflected back at me in the view. “Especially knowing they’d planned for it all along. You’d think they would’ve talked with me more, coached me since I was young. But they didn’t. They didn’t say a damn thing, not a single one of them.”
Kerry scoffs. “It’s disgusting, really.”
“I agree,” I say quietly.
His hand squeezes mine, tight enough to ground me somehow. “How are you doing, dealing with cutting them off?”
I exhale softly, my breath fogging up around me before catching on the wind and drifting off. “Better than I thought I’dbe. It’s still hard, don’t get me wrong. If I think about it I tear up, but…when I’m going about my daily life? When things are drama-free, happy, and I don’t have to frantically worry about regulating other people’s emotions? It’s great. A relief. And that kinda makes me feel guilty, too.”
Kerry squeezes my hand again, softer this time. “I know it’s hard.” He exhales, the wind snatching away the fog of his breath. “I never had the courage to do what you did. I wished many times I would’ve walked away from my father, but I never could. He had his hand around my throat all the way until the end. And even then, Marjorie’s scolded me for making choices that seemed directly influenced byhim.”
That makes me stop to think. “I guess I thought about the end of my life. What I would regret and what I wouldn’t. I always assumed I’d regret it if I walked away from my family, but then when you came along…well, I realized that maybe I couldn’t have both. What would I regret losing more? A new family that treats me well and loves me? Or a family that never did, even when they should’ve?”
There’s a quiet pause between us for a moment. “You’re braver than you realize, little leannán. I hope you know that.”
I hum in response, my thumb stroking the back of his knuckles. We settle back into a peaceful silence for a few minutes, soaking in the serenity of the moment.
Kerry clears his throat. “Do you want an update about your family? Or would that bother you too much?”
I sit up straighter. “There’s an update about them?” He studies me closely before giving one firm nod.
I sit back and think for a moment. Would it help me or hurt me to know things about them? It could make me feel more guilty. But honestly? I think now that I know thereisnews, it would bother me morenotto know. Maybe someday I’ll be farremoved from them enough that I can go along with my life not knowing, but not today.
“Yes, please. I want to know.”
Kerry nods and looks out over the ocean again. “We’ve been blocking your grandfather out of business in New York City. It’s the recent focus of the Nameless. Without the docks, he was already in a bad place. But now Marshall has been taking over his territory, bit by bit, shutting him out of his own territory. Charming his buyers, winning over his suppliers. It's been rough for him these past few months. And as a result, he’s been causing quite a lot of trouble. Nothing too severe, though.”
I sigh, still caressing his hand with my thumb. “He should’ve known better than to declare war with you. Especially when he didn’t have as many allies.”
Kerry grins at me. “Damn right, love.” He squeezes my hand. “He thought he’d have allies in Lorenzo De Matteis. But that slimy bastard was just using him to get to me, which in turn would get to his brother.”
I scoff and shake my head. “I wonder what happened between the two brothers to cause such a feud?”
“I have no idea, and I don’t want to know. It’s none of my business and I want it to stay that way, especially since I have things to protect now.” He pulls my hand out from under the blanket to kiss the back of my hand. “Besides, even if De Matteis was actually considering working with your grandfather, he’s a smart man. He’s going to back out of that once he sees the tides changing and our wrath being funnelled against Astero. There’s no way he’d stand by that, especially since your grandfather is a weak ally.”
I nod. It’s amazing to me how much I’ve gotten used to mafia politics in such a short amount of time. “I see. What does that mean for my family?”
Kerry glances over at me, studying my face as if to check for signs I’m upset. I wonder if he’s making sure I can handle this. “Your grandfather was more or less forced into retirement.”
I arch a brow and let out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding. “Is that all?”
Kerry chuckles and puts our intertwined hands back on my lap under the blanket. I hadn’t even noticed the frosty air with his hand wrapped around mine. “Yes, that’s all. He’s lucky humiliation is all he’s gotten. He has substantial money problems, though. Both of your parents and your grandmother are seeking jobs outside of the mafia business…their house is for sale, as well. But, for a mafia man who burned a lot of people…it’s the best ending he could hope for, really.”
Jobs.I can’t imagine my grandmother working. But there’s still something about Kerry’s words that doesn’t make sense. “My parents had jobs before, though.”
He turns to me with an arched brow. “For your grandfather in his business.”
Both of my eyebrows shoot up. “You can’t be serious. They never told me that. My parents acted like they hated my grandparents. They said my grandparents cut them off after my dad’s gambling issue got revealed.”
Kerry shakes his head. “My reports found that your grandparents never fully cut them off, just extremely limited their funds, and made them work for the first time in their lives. Well, your da’s life, that is. Your mother worked before him.”
“You’re shitting me.” I scoff. “They always acted like we were poor.”
Kerry frowns, clenching his jaw. “Afraid not, love. They lied. And fuck them for that. Although, your da still definitely had a gambling problem.” Kerry exhales through gritted teeth. “They didn’t even pay for your schooling, did they?”
I shake my head. “Not my college stuff, no, I put myself through university. Private school as a kid, yes.”
