Page 54 of Married with Blood
I missed my father every day. I grieved for my mother. And I knew that one day soon, Maksim would be in that same position of missing his father.
Elena was waiting for me out on the patio. She sat at a table with a laptop open in front of her, concentrating so seriously that she didn’t glance up when I approached. The covered dishes of our lunch seemed like an afterthought, not visible beyond her laptop screen.
“We don’t know each other well enough for me to say this, but your posture?—”
“Oh, Iknow,” she groaned, rolling her eyes. Her self-deprecating smile took the sting out of her reply. “I slouched even before I got big.” Arching her back emphasized the baby bump she couldn’t hide in her dress. She wasn’t that far along, but showing enough for it to be obvious. “Adrik nags me about it all the time.”
I sat and nodded. “I can see that.”
She smiled wider. “He doesn’t nag that often.”
“He leads,” I said, telling the truth and trying to get out of potentially sounding like I was critiquing the interim Pakhan. “Ergo, hecannag.”
“He means well.” She closed the laptop and slid it aside. Then sitting back as she gestured for me to help myself to the light lunch dishes, she rested her hands on top of her belly.
The possessive gesture wasn’t lost on me. This woman, my sister-in-law, was absolutely glowing as an expectant mother, relaxed, comfortable, and at ease about the prospect that shewould soon be bringing a child into this dangerous world. She almost seemed too delicate and mild-mannered to eke out a living like this, with the Mafia, but it sounded like she’d stuck with Adrik through all the highs and lows of her life since her father gave her away.
Well, how about that?
We’ve got something in common, then.
As far as I could recall from what Maksim and his brothers and cousins explained, Elena had been given to Adrik as a payment for sin. Whereas my brother had gone about it “officially” in arranging for me to marry into the family. But we were both displaced and removed from where we’d called home. We’d both been forced to drastically change our identities.
She doesn’t look conflicted about it.
I tried to pay attention and listen as she listed the menu for our lunch. A server came out to check on whether she needed anything, and I gave my drink order. All the while, I watched her so pleased and content there.
So happily married and pregnant.
Not questioning her purpose or who she really belongs to.
Would I look that happy and chill if I were carrying Maksim’s child?
Wondering about that wasn’t something new on my mind. Because we never used protection, it was very well a possibility that he would knock me up sooner or later. I had no grounds to insist on waiting for a child, but if I could, I would rather put it off.
Becoming a mother was a goal. I had been so close with my own mother that it was natural for me to have the ambition of being one myself. I looked forward to having children… just not yet. Not when I felt stuck between two identities and two worlds. Two families and powers.
I wanted to feel settled. I wanted to have closure, if that was the best term for it, about what Arturo was doing without my presence in the Cartel.
Things seemed too off-balance at the moment, and should I find out I was pregnant anytime soon, I would likely panic at it happening before I could be confident about where I belonged.
Finished with the conversation about what there was to eat, and with our plates full, we fell silent as we ate. Elena didn’t seem like one of those kinds of people to be comfortable with too much quiet, though. She surprised me when she piped up.
“Adrik more or less is expecting me to have ‘girl talk’ with you.”
I huffed a wry laugh. “Oh?”
“Doyouknow how that works?”
I shook my head, unintimidated to be honest. “No. You?”
She smiled shyly and shook her head.
“You can tell him that you’ve obeyed his expectations. We are ‘girls’ and we are having a conversation. That meets the basic criteria.”
She nodded, but once she was done swallowing her bite of salad, she wiped her mouth and shrugged. “I think he was hoping that I’d get you to talk about how you’re adapting and settling in as Maksim’s wife.”
“You mean he also thinks I’m a spy?”
