Page 43 of Exit: Us
“Okay, that’s good. How are the two of you getting along?” she wanted to know. That question made me smile. Shit, we were getting along just fine. We damn near fucked last night. That’s how well we were getting along.
“We’re good. We made it out of survival mode,” I let her know.
“Okay. That’s good to hear. I know Gianna was telling me that the two of you were having a hard time getting along with each other, so I’m happy to hear that. I’m going to pass the phone back to your dad, so the two of you can finish talking,” she said. It was natural for her to refer to Darnell as my father. She never even brought Rome up. You would think that the nigga didn’t exist.
“Baby, Ima step outside to talk to G. The food should be ready in about ten minutes. I’ll be back inside by then,” I could hear Darnell saying to my mom.
I heard her in the background, letting him know that that was fine, and for a few seconds, all I heard was shuffling. I could tell that he’d made it outside because the sound of the wind was coming through the phone. In a second, I heard him clear his throat. I had a feeling that we were getting ready to have a deep talk. That would be the only reason why he left my mom in the house, so he could come outside and talk to me.
“Aight. I’m outside. Your mama in the house. It’s just me and you, son. I want to know the real, uncut version. What’s going on with you and Amina?” he asked me, getting right to the point.
I chuckled, while shaking my head, knowing that he has never been the kind of person that you could get over on. He was wise. He saw a lot of things that the average person didn’t.
“Ain’t nothing. We on this truck together, chilling. Getting to know each other,” I said.
“What does that look like? Chilling, and getting to know each other?” he pressed.
I didn’t say anything right away. If anything, I sighed, thinking how I should answer. I knew that the conversation that I had with my pops wouldn’t make it to anyone else. He knew how to keep a g code and keep our deep talks between us. I’ve confided in this man about things over the years that never made it back to anyone else, so I could trust him. At the same time, I wanted to be mindful of Amina too. I think back to that evening at my grandma’s house, and how adamant she was about not wanting my grandma to know that we’d kissed. She felt like my grandma would pass down judgement on her. I’m sure she would feel the same way if I started telling my pops shit about us.
“You on that truck with a beautiful woman, son. For days at a time. You eating with her, talking with her every day, andya’ll sharing the same space that isn’t so big. You can’t tell me that feelings aren’t involved. That’s how I fell for your mama in college, man. Being around her every day, sharing the same space, having the conversations that we had, it didn’t take long for me to fall in love,” he went on to say.
My mom and Darnell shared a beautiful love story. Both went to FAMU, and they met senior year. Granted, when my mom went to college, the last thing that she was looking for was love. She already had a four-year-old son back in Miami that her mama was raising for her. Too much was on the line for her too. She promised my grandma that she would come home with that college degree. She went her first three years of college without getting with any of the guys. My mama was beautiful, and she’s told me that the dudes would try to holla, but she wouldn’t budge.
Senior year, she started working at the bookstore on campus. Darnell worked there too. I learned from both of them that they never really talked to each other in the beginning. As time went on, they became somewhat cordial. Cordial turned into friendship, and friendship turned into feelings getting involved. My mama didn’t want to act on those feelings though. She felt like getting a boyfriend would be a distraction. She gave Darnell the runaround for a while. Did everything in her power to get that man to stop liking her. She told him about the son that she had back at home, and everything. He still didn’t care. He still wanted her. He told her how he would treat her like a queen when he got her too. She gave him a chance and they started dating.
He lived up to his promises. Weeks before graduation, he was able to reach out to my grandma, wanting to get her blessing on proposing to my mom. Because my granddad was no longer in the picture, he had to go through my grandma. She approved of it. Gave him her blessing, and right after graduation, heproposed to my mom right there on the spot. Talk about a nigga that was intentional and standing on what he wanted. They both moved back to Miami, started working in their careers, and got an apartment together. They raised me like I belonged to both of them. The way they were in love with each other, it didn’t take long for my mom to get pregnant with Gianna. Not even a year after they graduated from college, my mom was already pregnant with my sister.
Their love story was one that I didn’t mind hearing over and over. I knew it by heart. That’s how many times it’s been told to me.
“I don’t want to feel like I’m exposing her, you know? She’s worried that people going to judge her for catching feelings for me, especially since it hasn’t been that long since things ended between her, and her fiancé,” I said. When I said that, I heard him suck his teeth on the other side of the phone.
“I know bits and pieces of what happened between her, and her ex. Your mama, and Gianna told me. She was engaged to a fuckin coward. A week before the wedding, he decided to leave her hanging like that. Nobody going to judge her. I know the son that I raised. She get brownie points for choosing you,” he said, and that made me laugh because I thought about me telling Amina the other day that she had good taste this time around.
“We haven’t crossed that line and had sex. We’ve kissed a few times though. The feelings are there. Shit, feelings are growing for each other every day. We went out to this bar last night. Got a few drinks in our system. We even went on stage and did karaoke. Amina got drunk. I could have crossed that line with her last night, but I didn’t. If shit ever go there with us, I want us to do it while we’re sober. That’s where we’re at right now with it,” I was honest with him. He took a while to respond. I’m sure he was taking in all the things that I’d just said to him, wondering what his response should be.
“I don’t expect you to have a full plan right now, but I think after kissing her, and feelings developing, that’ll you’ll have somewhat of a feeling on how you plan to move forward. A woman coming off a broken heart is a delicate being. I’m sure she’s questioning everything right now. Her judgement. You. Her. Although Amina and your mom share two different stories, it’s some similarities. The man that she created you with had a way of fuckin up your mom’s mind. She was scared to take a chance with me in the beginning because she thought that I would leave her high and dry like he did. Coming off a broken heart like that, a woman can be dangerous to herself if the wrong man shows up next. That’s the place that your mom was in, and that’s the place that I’m sure Amina is in. She gotta pick right this time around,” he voiced. That was real, so I nodded my head to that.
“You have a decision to make son. If you want to be serious about her, then do that. If all you want is some in house pussy on the truck for the time being, leave her alone, man. Too many things can go wrong if you don’t plan to do the right thing with her. You don’t want that shit to trickle down to the friendship that she has with Gianna. The two of them have been friends for too long for you to step in, treat her wrong, and risk the years long friendship that they have,” he said real shit to me. I respected it.
Darnell has always been that person in my life to share input with me and educate me. Smart man. After graduating college, it was easy for him to get a job as a college professor. He balanced becoming a husband, a father to me, and Gianna, along with studying for his Masters, all within two years of graduating college. Darnell knew so much about the world. He could sit down and talk politics with someone for hours. He knew everything that there was to know about economics, history, and race, so it made all the sense in the world that he was anAfrican American Studies professor. This man played his role in me being pro black. I’ve been learning about our history since I was a little boy because of him. I learned to question everything that I heard because of him. He taught me that everything had context. There was history in everything.
“I hear you. I like her. I promise this not one of those situations where I’m just looking to get some pussy on the road. I genuinely have feelings for her. If we decide to explore it, we’ll do that. If we get to a point where we want to back off, and not take it anywhere, then that’s cool too. I’m still going to make sure that she’s protected while she’s on the road with me because that’s what I promised Gianna I would do. She in good hands with me,” I let him know.
We talked about it for a little while longer. Before I knew it, I was pulling up to the truck stop. I let my pops know that I would hit him later, and that he could go back inside to have dinner with my mom. I let him know that I loved him, and he said the same to me in return. After that, I found a spot in the back to park, shut the truck down, and stood up.
I headed to the sleeping quarters, where Amina was. She was resting on her side, with the throw blanket wrapped around her body, snuggled up with Bruno. She was in a peaceful sleep. Even in that peaceful sleep, it’s as if she could feel me standing over her because she quickly opened her eyes, focused them on me, only to close them back, and open them again.
“Where are we Gemini?” she wanted to know.
Her voice came out raspy. She was still feeling the effects of throwing back all those shots last night. I had the same amount of shots as her, plus a couple of beers, but I was feeling good.
“I’m done for the day. We made it to a truck stop. It’s a laundromat across the street. We’re going to go over there to wash our clothes. How you feeling?” I wanted to know. I couldkind of tell how she was feeling right now, but I still wanted to hear her say it.
“Like I’ve been run over by a truck. My head is killing me. Before we go to the laundromat, can I take my shower and stuff first?” she asked me, moving the blanket from her body, prepared to stand up.
“That’s cool. I was going to suggest we do that first anyways,” I let her know.
I reached my hand out, so that she could grab onto it in order to stand up. She took it, stood up, and instead of letting her hand go, and allowing her to walk around me, so that she could get to her shower bag, and anything else that she was going to need, I stopped her. I stood in front of her, with a smirk on my face, looking down at her.
