Page 16 of Dirty Little Secrets
“Oh, baby.” Her voice takes on a sincerity I can’t remember ever hearing from her before as she pulls me tighter into her arms. “That is so far from the truth. If I could, I would take you home with me tonight and keep you as my Little girl forever.”
Hope beats at my ribcage. “I–I think I would like that.”
Mommy sighs. “I would too. But it’s… complicated.”
There are many layers to the word complicated, but in this situation I can only think of one. “Are you married?”
She hesitates, and I know the answer before she speaks. “Yes.”
“Oh.”
“He’s a good man,” she explains quietly. “And he loves me very much.”
“Of course he does. You’re perfect.”
“Trust me, baby, I am far from perfect.” Silence stretches, an awkwardness that hasn’t existed between us in months creating an invisible wall. “Look, Junie, I can’t promise you more than what we have here on Wednesday nights, at least not as your Mommy. But… if you wanted to go out somewhere as friends, I would like that very much.”
We both know that’s not what I was asking for. But it’s better than nothing, or maybe I’m just more fucked-up than I realizedbecause I practically jump at the chance to let her feed me those table scraps.
“Can we go to the zoo? I was supposed to go with some friends for my birthday a couple weeks ago, but our plans fell through.”
Chuckling, Mommy squeezes me tight and presses a kiss to my temple. “Of course we can go to the zoo, June-bug. When do you want to go?”
“This weekend?”
“Ah, I’m sorry, baby. My husband and I are leaving soon for a trip and we won’t be back for a week. So I’ll also miss our regular play date next week.”
Something tickles the back of my mind, but I can’t quite pin down what it is, so I ignore the feeling for now and focus on Mommy. “How about the weekend after?”
“I’ll have to check my schedule, but I think I can make that work.”
“Yay!” Twisting around, I throw my arms around her neck. “Thank you, Mommy!”
“You’re welcome, sweet girl. You have my number, so we can work out the details when I get back from my trip.”
“Okay.”
Three lilting chimes echo through the room and Mommy sighs. “That’s our signal. Time to get dressed, little one.”
As much as I don’t want our time to end, I don’t argue as she helps me into my panties and my fluffy Little girl dress, wincing as the fabrics brush against the welts left behind by her crop. Once Mommy is also dressed again, she takes my hand, leading me toward the door.
But she pauses with her hand on the knob, turning to me with an uncharacteristic look of uncertainty on her stunning face. “I know I won’t be here Wednesday, and I don’t have anyright to ask this of you. But it would mean a lot to me if you didn’t play with anyone else that night.”
It isn’t a fair ask, and we both know it. But the thought of playing with anyone on our night doesn’t sit well with me either, so even though it isn’t fair for her to ask for faithfulness when she isn’t capable of giving me the same in return, I nod.
“Okay, Mommy.”
The smile that breaks out on her face is worth giving up a potential night of play. I’d give up so much more than that if it meant she would just keep smiling at me that way.
If it meant she would keep me.
“My good girl,” she purrs, bending down to press a long, slow kiss to my lips. “Come on, Mommy will walk you to your car.”
CHAPTER 7
JUNIPER
Something is still nagging at me about my night with Mommy. But it isn’t until I’m getting ready to head toRestraintthe following Monday that it hits me.
