Page 103 of Dangerous Promises

"I know," I say, jaw grinding as I repeat myself. The fact our death promise is being called silly enrages me to no end, but that's not what I need her for.

Angie sits back. "Alright. I don't usually go giving warnings… but…"

I know she means to warn me about what happened to my brother. I am just about sick to death of hearing about him and all his mistakes now.

My breath comes in harsh pants. "I know he'll never leave us alone until he has what he wants. And what he wants is her. I'm done watching my people die for her. If handing her over to him is what stops this, then hey, perhaps my brother was onto something after all."

"Damn."

I nod, waiting for her to tell me the ridiculous amount of money she's going to charge me for using her service. Her and I both know this is why I usually don't come near her. There's nothing I need enough that I can't do myself. Except this.

"You really want to betray them?" Angie asks, studying me carefully. Like she's not judging me but is just genuinely curious as to what has driven me over this edge.

"I need this to be over."

In the end, that's all I decide to say.

Chapter

Forty-Two

Sage

Ican't help but feel like I've done the wrong thing. I hold my hand against my chest as I walk back up the driveway, because something there physically hurts. Something bad feels like it's brewing. That's once again because of something I've done. That once again I won't be able to fix or take back. Another one of my endless mistakes ending in bloodshed and casualties.

Close to the front door of the house I stop, hearing more raised voices inside. Dad clearly isn't done with his rage about my death promise or about Alexei and I. My uncle must be next in his sights, as it's definitely him and Uncle Anton that I hear shouting back and forth.

I'm impressed to find that the shouting is coming all the way from Dad's office, so I make my way up there to eavesdrop. Freddie sees me coming and blocks the door with his body, barring me from entering. "Trust me,bella, you don't want to go in there."

I nod and step back, taking his word for it as I listen to my dad and my uncle sling arguments and insults back and forth. The substance of the argument is clear. It's me. Who I have become, or, as my dad thinks, who Anton has let me become in his absence. Every secret I've tried to keep is questioned. The storm surrounding every lie I told beginning to reap the damage I've sown.

"They're yelling about me," I state.

"Yes," Freddie agrees, turning his head towards the door where the raised voices carry my name very clearly. "Someone dropped on him that Rushkoff killed Nic."

"Stupid person," I agree.

Freddie smiles.

"Anton said I had to own up to what I'd done with Dad on my own," I say.

Freddie just stares at me.

"I'm too scared," I admit. "Telling you two was hard enough. It's just... shameful."

"Which part?" Freddie asks.

The worst of it is that what I've now told Dad doesn't even begin to scratch the surface on everything I've done that he could find out about. Still though, I'm not sure how to answer. There are many shameful things that I've done. Making a mess of it and getting Dad hurt. Suspecting Victor was trying to hurt me and then running right into his arms, anyway. All the stupid things I did that eventually led to Nicholas's death.

I'm ashamed of making the death promise in the first place.

I can sling both knives and insults Alexei's way, pretend it's all his fault. But the truth is I blame me most of all. I blame myself for Nicholas's death. Maybe that's right. Maybe that's wrong. I don't know. Maybe in reality it's no one's fault.

I never thought twice about the death promise because back then I didn't mind if Alexei could kill me. I thought I deservedit for everything I'd done. I'm still not sure if I hate myself less enough to say I wouldn't do all the same things over again if I had the chance.

Of all the shameful things, maybe Dad never needs to know. It's far easier to face a lie than it is to face the truth.

"Maybe now's the time to start telling the truth," Freddie suggests.