Page 136 of Intent to Kill
“Don’t,” he begged with a sigh. “I never stopped loving you.”
Her eyes splintered to his, pools welling at the edges. He’d been holding that in for five years. Why he’d chosen now to say it? Fuck if he knew. He just knew that he had to. Every moment that he was around her and not telling her made him feel like a piece of his heart was buried alive and clawing through its coffin to make it up to the surface.
“You can’t just come in here and say that.”
“Why not? It’s the truth. I’ve loved you for–”
“Don’t say it!”
“–seven years. That feeling doesn’t go away.”
“Stop!” she shouted, turning to face him. He studied her face, her cheeks were red and puffy, but her eyes were enraged. “You don’t get to say that. Not after five years.”
“Then when? Because I can’t go another second pretending that I don’t love you. That you aren’t the only reason that I–”
“I don’t want to hear it. I didn’t ask for you to come back! Never wanted it,” she shouted, her face heating before twisting into a grimace. He saw the lie for what it was. Even though he knew the reasons why she said it, he couldn’t stop his own irritation bursting free.
“My God, you can’t hate me forever.”
“I will hate you for as long as I fucking want!”
“Don’t pretend that I’m the only bad guy. There were two sides of this!” he shouted, getting fiery as he advanced across the space toward her.
“Oh, really,” she said, her chest heaving so roughly it was like she might breathe fire. “Two sides, huh?! You left me!”
“Because I nearly fucking died!”
“Well, you didn’t die! You could’ve come back, any of thosesixtymonths, but you were a fucking coward!”
He pushed two fingers to his temple, staring her down without blinking. “Don’t talk to me about cowardice, babe. You’re so fucking afraid to feel anything that you choose to feel nothing at all.”
“And whose fault is that? You left us all behind in this big fucking mess you created,” she said, arms flailing like she was trying to tread water.
He wiped his face with his hands. “I had no fucking choice.”
“To leave us here? To abandon us?” She laughed and braced her hands on her hips. “To leave me? You’re the one who chose to leave behind what we had and give up on us. You sent Paul back to Ridge City with nothing but a message that you were leaving forever. And then zilch, nada, forfiveyears.”
He was forced to take a step back at that sharp sting. “You don’t think that once I realized what I did, that I didn’t want to come running right back here?” He faced her, seeing only an exasperated frown. “That as soon as I woke up that I didn’t want to come running right back to you?”
She stood in stunned silence for a moment.
“Once I woke up and realized I’d lost you I–”
“You chose to lose me!”
He clenched his fists so hard the whites of his knuckles showed, forcing his lips shut so he didn’t shout. “You are so fucking stubborn and ridiculous!”
“Yeah?” She came within inches of his face to spit the words. “And you’re self-centered and full of undeserved pride!”
“For fuck’s sake, it was fiveyearsago!”
“You inconsiderate motherfu–”
“They nearly fucking killed me! I had to disappear, how many times do I have to say it—I had no choice! What the fuck did you want me to do?!”
“You could’ve taken me with you!” she shouted, a new onslaught of tears rolling as she raced to wipe them away.
He opened his mouth to fire back, but found it empty. His hands bounced as he tried to decide what to do with them. Reach out to her? Stay away? He had the emotional intelligence of a fucking raccoon. He had no idea what to do or how to behave.
