Page 97 of Saving Forever
The sound of her voice. Her laugh. Her gentle smile. The silkiness of her skin. The sweetness of her lips. The way she’s almost always able to read my mind when I fumble for the right word in English. I didn’t think there was a woman out there like that for me.
I sat down last night and opened a blank document on my laptop. I literally made a list of every single thing I love about Holly. It had forty-eight items.
Then I typed out everything I don’t like about her. It only had one item: she doesn’t love me.
That’s it.
And that was when I realized I’m willing to do anything it takes to change her mind.
I made the decision to be honest with her when she got to Alaska. To open up about my feelings, how much I care for her, and the fact that maybe Russia isn’t the end game after all. Maybe she’s the end game.
Now she’s not coming.
I’m waffling between annoyance, frustration, and concern, because my gut tells me she’s in trouble. I don’t know how or why or what’s going on, but the man in me needs to make sure she’s safe.
If she’d answer the fucking phone, it would make things a lot easier.
Being so far away makes this exponentially more difficult.
Because I can’t stand it anymore, I get out my phone and call Kelly.
“Hey!” She sounds surprised to hear from me.
“I need a favor,” I say abruptly.
“Of course.”
“Listen, I know you don’t like Holly but—” I begin.
“Stop it,” she interrupts quietly. “She’s fine. I just don’t want her to hurt you, that’s all. I don’t have anything against her personally.”
“I appreciate that.” I hesitate. “Something happened. It’s complicated.” I give her the very basics of our argument. “I was waiting for her to arrive so we could talk about all the things I’ve been thinking about—and then she sent a very cryptic message about the sanctuary. And I haven’t heard from her since.”
She pauses a beat too long so I know there’s some kind of but coming.
“Are you sure this isn’t her being petty? Or even just being hurt and not wanting to fly to the other side of the continent and have to share a room and a bed with a man she believes doesn’t care about her? If it were me, I’d have to think about that.”
“Yes, but if you want to remove all emotion, I paid her a million dollars to be my wife. Not the sex part—I would never demand that and never have—but being at my side during the biggest games of my career is literally what I paid her for.”
“I suppose you’re right.” She hesitates again. “Okay, what do you need from me?”
“Can you take a ride out to the sanctuary? I want to know what’s going on. If it’s all shut up and no one is there, then maybe I have to consider that she wants out of our agreement.”
“All right. I can do that.”
“Thank you, Kelly.” I give her the name of the sanctuary, and she looks it up to get the address.
“It’s going to take me about forty minutes to get there.”
“I’ll make it up to you.”
“Yes, you will.” She chuckles. “All right, I’ll leave now and call you when I get there.”
“I’ll be at a team dinner but text me first and I’ll let you know if I can talk.”
“Got it.”
We disconnect and I get off the bus.
