Page 47 of Saving Forever
And yet, she still takes my breath away.
Her bare shoulder all but calls to me, and as I lean in I see the mark I left on her neck. I wince, wondering how she feels about that kind of thing. It’s in a place almost impossible to hide in the summer, and I feel a twinge of guilt. I totally took advantage of her last night. Yes, she gave consent. Yes, she was into it. And yes, she happily slept in my arms.
The question now is where we go from here. There’s no going back, unless she feels strongly about it, which means we’re moving into unfamiliar territory. She hasn’t told me a lot about her past but I’m willing to bet she’s been in love, been in serious relationships. I have not.
My fiancée and I were set up and spent most of our relationship living on opposites sides of the planet. By the time we were getting married, she’d already moved on. The way she handled it begs the question—what did I do wrong? I understand all the surface-level issues, like not wanting to live in the US for an indeterminate length of time, and that we didn’t know each other too well. But I wasn’t abusive or mean and I spoiled her rotten.
What did I do to deserve the way she ended it?
That’s the part that haunts me, makes me doubt myself.
My phone rings and though I try to grab it before it can wake Holly, she stirs just as I answer.
“Good morning, Mama.”
“Are we going to brunch?”
“Yes, if you like. Did you pick a place?” She mentioned this the other day but I told her I wouldn’t know my schedule until the last minute.
“Yes.” She mentions a well-known deli that isn’t too far from here.
“We can meet in an hour,” I say.
“Thirty minutes,” she corrects. “We are ready to go.”
I sigh but figure this is the least of my problems. “All right. See you in the lobby.”
“I get the feeling we are not going to spend a lazy morning in bed,” Holly says with a soft smile.
“Sadly, no.” I reach out and skim my fingers along her cheek.
“Where are we going?”
I give her the details and she sits up. “I need to take a quick shower. I’m a mess!”
“Go ahead. What are they going to do? Leave without me?”
She smiles, slides out of bed, and pads into the bathroom.
I watch the sway of her hips as she walks, and I’m tempted to follow her but we’ll be extremely late if I join her in the shower. It’s disappointing but we probably need to talk about last night before I make any assumptions about what things will be like in the future.
I’m probably overthinking things.
She’s an adult who obviously enjoys sex.
We’re married for the next year.
There’s no reason we can’t indulge in that kind of intimacy.
Right?
I pull on khaki shorts, a polo shirt, socks, and sneakers. I go into the bathroom to brush my teeth, grateful for the shower curtain hiding the gloriously naked body on the other side of it. My dick starts getting hard just thinking about her and I get out of there as quickly as I can.
There’s a buzz on my phone and a message from my mother.
MAMA: Is it possible that she doesn’t come to brunch?
VIKTOR: She? You mean my wife? No, it is not possible that I leave my wife behind.
