Page 99 of Burn Her They Said
“Just so I understand, the sorcerer meant to lead my protectors happens to bring out this dangerously loquacious side of me”—Lars nods for me to continue—“and you consider this an improvement, even when the change in my behavior brought on by his presence has more easily and frequently angered the Emperor?”
He reaches around to take hold of both of my hands and brings them between us, then pulls me close enough I have to tilt my head back to peer up at him.
“It has pained me—no, it has pained all of us—to witness you become a shell of yourself. You’ve been a phantom, floating wherever they make you go. Yet with him around, you’re more alert and vibrant. I’d even go so far as to say you’re enlivened. And Godsdammit, Tasch—you deserve this. You deserve to live.”
My breath catches with the last few words landing like a punch to the chest.
“Besides,” he tilts his head to the side with a smirk, “Varic will be able to keep you safe in his shield bubble thing.”
I shake my head and allow a grin to cross my lips. Then we startle and jump apart when the bathroom door swings open.
Varic stares at me while I wipe my palms down the front of my nightgown, before darting over to Lars, who nervously scrubs the back of his neck, with the only sound being that of his hand catching the short-cropped hairs along the base of his skull.
“Oh.” Varic pales and takes a step backward, releasing the door while my magic detects the rejection and panic spiraling through him.
“We weren’t—” Lars starts, thrusting a hand out to stop the door as he steps forward.
“That wasn’t—” I try as Lars and I share a look of dismay, eyes widening before we turn back to Varic, who refuses to look anywhere near us.
His ears have turned the deepest red as he rakes his fingers through his brown, wavy hair.
“You don’t have to—” Varic says.
“I wasn’t taking advantage of her, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
My eyes fall closed, and I let out a groan, then gape back at Varic, who has fully transformed to square his shoulders and glare back at Lars. His jaw feathers as he flexes his fists, and every aspect of his stance communicates he is a threat to be reckoned with.
“You wouldn’t dare,” he rasps, eyes blazing a trail everywhere he assesses me, the sensation almost as unbearable as the desperation in his expression.
My entire being feels compelled to go to him. To siphon all of his discomfort. Instead, I stare back at the sorcerer who just might have a hidden fire power for all the heat his gaze brings to my skin.
“If she chooses to be with any of you, so be it. I cannot dictate what any of you do with her consent. Taking advantage of her, however, will result in your death by my hand.”
“You sure do love to threaten murder for someone who?—”
“Lars!” Malin yells, and Lars drops his gaze and scrubs the back of his neck.
Varic shakes his head, and my stomach drops from the sorrow held in his expression. He backs away, hands held before his chest as Lars falls in behind me.
I break loose from the spell that kept me in place to reach for Varic as he ducks and narrowly avoids my contact.
“I am not trying to interfere in your love life.” His voice is low and somber, though my resulting laughter draws his attention with a quirk of his eyebrow in question.
“You weren’t trying to interfere with what you assumed to be a tryst between Lars and me when you opened the door to a private room without knocking first?” Varic’s cheeks redden. “Ask anyone in this room if you doubt my conviction when I tell you I have never had anything resembling a love life, and certainly not with any of them.”
His expression lifts, though it is too ambiguous to guess what, if anything, has changed since I do not dare to try to read his mood with my magic.
“It’s true,” Lars confirms, though he may be the least likely to be believed after the scene Varic just walked in on. “In case it helps, I am not interested in Tasch. Nor any witch.” His eyes land on Malin. “Besides, I’m spoken for.” Lars’ smile broadens as Varic’s gaze flits over to Malin, whose neck now matches the same bright pink as his cheeks, before returning to Lars with a nod of understanding.
Malin clears his throat. “The whole Continent knows the Emperor forbids her from engaging in intimate relations or forming a relationship. Publicly proclaiming any focus outside of her responsibilities would be an inappropriate distraction, while maintaining those same rules for Wyrth, and all of us Guards. He would never tolerate anyone being intimate with her, much less anything which could result in pregnancy, since he would never allow her to carry, nor raise, a child.”
I wince at the reminder that the future I once dreamed of has become nothing more than a fantasy.
“And even if she were to sneak someone into her chambers, do you really think she wants all of us to watch their every move in the name of her safety?” Cirrin adds, and I grimace.
“Thank you,” I say, aiming for the bed. “Now that we have reiterated how I am unable to form attachments as a servant to the Empire, might I try to get some rest?” I roll onto the mattress and pull the covers over my head like a petulant young witch, while each of my Guards grunts in confirmation of honoring my request.
I try to steady my breathing when a knock sounds, and I strain to hear as boots clomp across the room before a string of words is exchanged. Varic thanks the messenger and closes the door, then the snap and tear of a wax seal breaking is quickly followed by the rustling of paper.
