Page 55 of Burn Her They Said
“Yes.” I lie, as he looks at me through narrowed eyes.
“I supported her weight the entire dance,” Imperial Lead Guard Varic reports. “She needs to rest.” His hand presses in at the small of my back, no doubt in an effort to guide me toward a chair or some other settee where I might find reprieve.
“You fail to mention how you are supporting her weight still,” Malin says, staring at Varic.
“What do you mean?” Lars asks.
Malin pulls in a deep breath before answering, “Our Leader is using his force-shield to help our charge remain upright.”
My Guards turn to Varic with awestruck expressions while the thrum of his magic grows faster over my skin.
He clears his throat and nods at Cirrin. “You imbued her before we danced, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” Cirrin confirms.
“Then why is she experiencing so much difficulty standing?” Varic’s tone grows more aggressive with each syllable, and my hackles raise in Cirrin’s defense. “You are the strongest healer alive, are you not? Shouldn’t your magic steady her far longer than it is?”
My nostrils flare as I force out a breath in exasperation before parting my lips, preparing to explain, when the living embodiment of distraction cuts me off?—
“Did you give her all you could spare?” Varic asks, eyes darting between Cirrin and me.
“Nearly—” Cirrin begins.
“Well.” Varic gestures to me with his pointed expression directed at Cirrin.
“No,” I say, placing my hand on Cirrin’s shoulder. “I’m fine.”
“You are not fine,” Varic practically growls at me.
I hold up a hand to silence him. “I said ‘no,’ and if memory serves, you become quite protective the moment anyone besides yourself goes against it.”
Varic turns to Cirrin. “How long has she been like this? How long have I missed the signs of her exhaustion returning so quickly after she’s been healed by you?”
“A while now,” Cirrin admits, dropping his kind brown eyes to the floor while pulling his lower lip inward. Then he straightens to add, “We’ve all been concerned.”
Varic tears his hand from my lower back as he turns, storming two paces away before he pauses to press a fist to his lips as his eyes slam shut.
A knot forms in my throat from all of this anguish he’s feeling due to his care for me, and I cannot allow him to endure this for what already feels like an eternity. I send my magic and pull on his threads of fear and doubt, collecting the tendrils of concern and care from his chest and spool each inside my own, while trying to be careful not to take too much, hoping he won’t suspect what I’ve done.
He spins back around, swallowing the distance between us while his darkening irises rove over my features, behaving like a wild animal desperately seeking a weak point in the snare entrapping its limb.
“Godsdammit, Tasch, you cannot expect me to stand by and watch you suffer.”
Guilt and shame slowly slake down my spine, conjuring her to laugh in Varic’s face. “That is precisely what you have vowed to do, Imperial Lead Guard Varic.”
His expression remains just as concerned, even after her attempt at drawing his ire.
“Are you insinuating that you do not think they care?” she asks, gesturing to the rest of my Guards. “You think they watch because they couldn’t be bothered to intervene?” Varic’s face falls, flinching. “You think we have any real option to do anything other than obey his commands, no matter what we believe to be just or right?” My voice cracks as I come back to myself, filled with the fear of what would happen to those threatened to be punished in my stead.
Varic’s eyes lose their focus as he sends me small rivulets of compassion, breaking my heart with the gesture. Because that’s not what I need, Varic.
I need space.
I need air.
My feet act on their own, and I turn to stalk off in the opposite direction when heat I shouldn’t be able to recognize encircles my arm, lighting off sparks. I snap my head back and fail to hold a glare the moment his impossibly bright brown eyes find mine with an expression my strongest mental wards could never shield against.
Please, Varic. Don’t do this.
