Page 28 of Burn Her They Said
“I can mean every word and still charm you while I speak them.” He nudges my shoulder with his own. “Isn’t that allowed?”
“It’s not as if I have any sway in how you conduct yourself, General.”
Varic releases a breath as he turns away, giving me space after my use of his title. The heat from his body keeps me company the longer we exist in companionable silence until something tugs on me—urging and incessant. Something I desperately need to remain dormant.
Though it seems I might be saved from saying anything I should not as Malin clears his throat and takes a step closer. “General Varic,” he begins, and waits for Varic to turn to face him. “What you did to protect Tasch in the dining room earlier was unlike anything I have ever observed. It was as if you modified your force-shield to conform to her skin.”
Varic’s chest expands with a deep intake of breath. “You detected correctly. It’s been so long, I almost forgot you’re the only telekinetic who can sense my shielding.” His eyes flick to mine with a sheepish smile forming. “If you remember, Tasch trained me to be more mindful with how I both blast and obliterate, and while we did not practice the same with my shield, I decided to do so, which has helped me to refine my use of it. Though I will admit, I was just as surprised as you, since this was the first time I’ve tried using the shield exactly like this.”
My cheeks heat so much, I press my chilled fingers to the surface, because something about knowing my skin was the first to experience his shield in this way feels significant, bordering on elation that his magic hasn’t touched another being as it has me. A sort of comfort I should not seek—an ownership of something I cannot keep—as our roles determine we cannot have each other. Certainly not in the way I long for.
The moment he leaves this Palace with the knowledge of all his magic is capable of, he can happily protect whomever he chooses, allowing the simmering heat and the beat of his heart to envelop them, as it did my body.
“When I sensed what the Emperor was doing to her—” Varic pauses, throat bobbing.
“Which you shouldn’t be capable of doing,” Malin reminds him.
“Yes, just as we cannot understand why you are the only one who can sense the use of my shielding.”
Malin nods. “Perhaps it has something to do with how other lands have learned to block all forms of magic. Maybe something occurred to make you capable of blocking telekinetics from sensing your disruption of energy in a protective capacity. However, since I am also an Anomaly, I’m the only one capable of bypassing whatever sort of block you may be capable of producing.”
Varic’s brows rise as he seems to consider it. “That is a sound theory, and as to what happened between Tasch and the Emperor, I simply had to act. I couldn’t—” His voice breaks, and my throat constricts, staring anywhere but at the sorcerer incapable of condoning my torture. Who protected me when he should have left the Emperor to punish me however he deemed appropriate.
Malin nods and retreats, stepping back and next to Lars. “Thank you, General Varic. I am grateful for your intervention and only wish one of us possessed the ability to protect her the same, since this sort of treatment has become more common as of late.”
Varic opens his mouth to respond as my magic detects the orange cast of concern overtaking his being.
“It was truly impressive,” I say, and wince as he noticeably tenses. “Thank you.”
Hendry squares his shoulders as Varic nods his acknowledgement.
“Imperial Lead Guard Hendry,” he begins, lifting his chin. “It is possible Tasch could teach you to do the same. I am considering trying with certain soldiers in my unit.”
Hendry clears his throat. “I am willing to try anything which might aid in protecting Imperial Grand Witch Tasch.”
Varic spares him a small smile of gratitude before turning to glance out at the forest while my Guards fall silent behind us, allowing this knowledge to sink in while I attune to the sounds around us, anticipating the door opening with a commandment to come back inside any moment.
Varic’s mood shifts, sharing his emotional state with me as freely as he has throughout our history, with his ears burning a vibrant red as he spins to face me. He disrupts the style of his hair by raking his fingers through the waves as he stares back with glowing flames lit behind his irises.
“Please be honest with me. What exactly did I just witness between you and Sal?” His tone is frantic, expression pained, and I react like the coward that I am, dropping my gaze, incapable of lying straight to his face.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“I saw you two.” He clears his throat. “Together.”
I send him tendrils of disbelief and wince at my manipulation of his feelings before shame overwhelms me, and I retract it at the same time I turn to implore him to forget he saw anything with a look of discouragement.
“I saw you—” His voice cracks.
“Kissing?” I ask, with my heart feeling as if it has just been ripped apart, because I cannot tell him. I will not implicate him in this treason, and instead will lead him into believing this falsehood, despite wishing everyone in the Continent could know that our lips never touched. I would have never allowed him to be my first.
Varic’s nostrils flare, and I wish it had been him who had leaned in with intention. That it had been his lips to tempt me. Though I would never want him to take the risk Sal did. And kissing him would be a different sort of cruelty. A taste of what can never truly be.
He swallows and turns away, so I do the same.
“It’s just…” His tone is wounded. Lost.
“What?” I ask, turning my full body to him.
