Page 221 of Burn Her They Said
I take full responsibility for my actions toward you, and hope my abhorrent behavior will not prevent you from trusting our intent in offering our support.
You have allies. The rumors you have heard are true. There are groups working toward a better future, and further insight into your situation has proven it is time to extract you.
I trust you will be kept safe until our plan may come to fruition. And while I wish you would reconsider the poorly worded offer I made, I can understand your reasons for declining. That and having observed your connection with a particularly protective sorcerer, I must concede my hopes will be dashed were I to ever make the offer in the future.
Regardless of my wishes, I implore you to trust those who have promised your safety.
Until we meet again,
The One You Refuse to Call By Name
Varic watches me with threads of anxiety flowing from his body, and he quirks a brow with a slight pink hue blooming over the curve of his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose.
I wave for each of my Guards to gather closer. “The letter was from?—”
“They know the identity of the author,” Varic says.
A sudden urge comes over me with the wish to drop the letter in the fire to prove the Prince doesn’t matter to me—not nearly as much as he does. My fingers tingle with the need to touch him, to grab hold of him and ensure he knows he’s the one I need. The one I want more than anything.
“He apologized.” My cheeks pinken, matching Varic’s. “He explained how the rumors are true. There are groups.” Each of my Guards nods, and I pause. “He mentioned they will aid us.”
I run a finger over the crease in the letter as Lars scrubs the back of his neck.
Malin’s expression remains neutral as he leans next to the bedpost.
Fray runs a hand down his face while Cirrin shakes his head, seemingly in consideration of all I’ve just said.
Varic’s magnetism draws my attention back to him as he stares off in the distance.
“Why did you keep this letter, knowing the risks?”
“I accepted it without meaning to, frozen in fear with the fact I had just handed myself over to another land, when they had every right to imprison me for assaulting the Prince.” His eyes brighten, and a slight smile tugs on my lips as one side of his own rises in a smirk. “Besides, I knew that I could destroy it without feeling guilty, if it ever became necessary to be rid of the evidence.” He runs his fingers through his hair, which has grown longer than I’ve ever seen it, with tendrils curving down to barely kiss his cheekbones.
“I guessed at the message, based on what he said before the Queen arrived.” I part my lips to ask why he didn’t say anything about the conversation, then clamp them shut when he says, “It was worth the risk, so you might know there are those in power who recognize your value—even when you do not serve them.”
The meaning of his words dredges up some part of me I didn't know was lurking beneath, and I get lost in staring at nothing.
He abandons his post to cross the space within a few quick strides, and I gasp when the warmth of his hand rests over mine. Then my heart constricts when he raises his opposite hand to cradle my jaw with such tenderness.
“It would be ignorant and naïve to ignore the fact that they want to remove your power from his grasp.” He releases a breath, and the warmth casts over the curve of my neck. “However, it was also apparent they became nearly as enamored with you as I am—and in such a short visit, I might add.”
The heat only he is capable of conjuring erupts like a volcano under my skin.
“They care enough to promise your safety after negotiating an agreement with every other land on the Continent. One where you will never be imprisoned again.”
My stomach twists, because after every attempt to remove my power from the Emperor’s clutches—after every assassination attempt—I can’t trust it.
Shame twists like a fast-growing vine, weaving its way through my chest as I cannot believe there could be anything so precious about me. Nothing aside from my power. The magic which is fading faster than any of us could have expected.
The vine spirals downward and twines with the roots of guilt and embarrassment. Each one growing from the pit of my stomach, along with the need to reach down my throat and claw every last one of them out. Because none are welcome in this moment. Sullying what could be. Yet isn’t that the nature of feelings? Such fluid, nebulous things never meant to be constantly modified to our liking.
Varic’s hand drops from my chin to hold my hand.
One side of my lips lifts. “I assumed he would have avoided you, after you not-so-subtly told him that if it were not for his title, you would have ensured he ceased to exist.”
“Is that what I said?” Varic quips. “That doesn’t sound like me.”
A surge of hope fills my chest, slashing through the shame and guilt, at the awareness of how we can get through the darkest of days if we can continue on like this. If we can use humor and levity, we can endure the most serious of circumstances.
