Page 123 of Burn Her They Said
Lars sighs rather than saying what he normally would otherwise.
“This may seem strange, but it’s the best way I can think to warm you,” Varic says, drawing my other foot up so both of my soles rest against his abdomen, where he cups his hands over the top to help warm my toes.
The heat from his skin penetrates, eliciting more stinging, yet I swallow down every groan, refusing to risk him stopping for fear he’s hurting me.
“You know your force-shield warms me,” I say.
“It does?” he asks, brows furrowed.
“Yes, it has a similar heat to your skin,” I let slip, then instantly regret it as Lars shakes with laughter beside me.
“I’m going to cast it over you, if you’re comfortable with me doing so,” Varic says.
“Yes, I am comfortable with you tending to my needs, Varic. But what you had to do to yourself in the bathing chamber? I’m not.”
Varic closes his eyes, then they flare open, pinning me with the heat swirling within as he casts his magic out from beneath the shackles. Pulsing amber warms me as it creeps along my skin, imbuing me with just enough heat to settle the shivering into tiny needles of reprieve as my skin comes back to life under his attention.
“I’m okay, Tasch. It’s just skin.”
“No. You cannot keep scarring yourself in order to keep from obliterating everyone around you.”
“Then tell me what I can do. I’ve tried everything else. Nothing works. Nothing helps me keep my emotions from getting the best of me. Nothing else is strong enough to save those around me from my inability?—”
“No. It is not your fault that you have had to endure anything requiring this kind of harm to your being. I’m so sorry, Varic. This is why?—”
“Stop. I made the vow because I chose to, and you will not feel guilt for my decision.”
“But you didn’t know.”
“No, I was not aware of the full extent to which you have been tormented. And now that I know, I wish I had found a way to keep you from ever coming back here.”
“We already determined there wasn’t a safer option—” I begin.
“I don’t mean earlier today,” Varic says, and my chest heaves with labored breathing as he stares at me with six years’ worth of regret behind his irises. I can’t do this.
“What do we say if the Emperor comes in and sees you cradling my legs like this?”
Varic stares back at me with flames from the sconce overhead reflected in his eyes.
“I will explain how the Empire’s strongest force sorcerer, whom he appointed as your Lead Guard, had to take matters into his own hands to keep you from losing your toes due to His Majesty removing your healer and refusing to give you a blanket when he left you shackled to a wall.” The aggression in his tone squeezes my heart, thumping heavy and low as a different sort of fear takes hold, as it seems it would be in everyone’s best interest if the Emperor would keep his distance until my Lead Guard’s fury settles some more.
Varic sets my newly enlivened feet in the middle of his lap, and I pull in a slow breath when he takes my right foot between both hands and proceeds to press the pad of his thumb in, drawing a line up my arch, which I feel even through his shield, as he earns a low moan from me every time he applies pressure.
Fray laughs, and I groan, closing my eyes while tipping my head back to the cold stone.
“I’m trying to help her get better circulation,” Varic says.
“I have no doubt her blood is flowing now,” Lars says. “And that you’re not just rubbing her feet to try to elicit more of her moaning.”
I elbow Lars in the side, and he grunts playfully. Varic’s nostrils flare, yet he continues with his attentive massage. Then, once he seems satisfied with the results, he brings both of my feet to rest flat on his abdomen and covers each with his hands again.
“There. I think you’re finally gaining some warmth.”
I smile back faintly now that the cold is no longer stabbing.
“Rest your head on the big lug’s shoulder and try to get some sleep,” Varic instructs, as Lars shifts lower to accommodate our height difference.
I drop my temple to the curve of Lars’ bicep, and his fresh pine scent soothes me as I settle in. Fray leans over to rest his cheek against my arm as our breathing takes on a similar rhythm under Varic’s careful watch, while he maintains his hold on me, ensuring I stay warm.
