Page 79 of Bad Habit
I pull my hands up to guard my face and manage to pivot out of the way with enough time for his fist to cut my jaw but not make full impact. I can hear Eli scream something but I can’t make out what it is exactly.The guy moves in fast again and I’m not as quick this time. He lands a crushing kick to my side, and when I drop my arm he makes solid contact with his fist.
I don’t have time to steady myself before he has me backed against the wall. I try to defend the best that I can but he makes too much contact and my arms feel too heavy. I see a flash of blonde from above the pool over his shoulder and that is the last thing I see before I drop to the ground.
The lights are blurry and I can feel my brothers holding me up.
“Were you even trying?” Max asks but I can feel his frustration. I don’t blame him. I’d be frustrated with me too.
They carry me down the hallway back to the empty room. My eye is a little swollen but I can make out Eli reaching in and turning the water on before they toss me under the spray with my shorts, shoes, and hand wraps still on.
“Just let him sit in there for a bit.” I think that’s Eli talking but I let the water drown everything else out as I brace a hand on the back of the shower and just lean against the wall. The cold tile on my forehead helps the sensation of my body feeling like it is on fire.
I don’t know how long I'm here for. I just know that all I can picture is her. The disappointment on her face when she saw me get upset over her not telling us about her parents. The joy when Melinda showed up. The worry when Adam inserted himself. The pure bliss on her face when we were alone and on that couch. The discomfort from having to talk to all the important people in the room. Never once did she look like the perfect ray of light that she is. She was overrun with every different emotion. I couldn’t help ground her like she does me.
We haven’t even had a chance to talk about everything because she’s had to cover more shifts at the coffee shop and help her grandmother with closing out the art auction details this whole week. Melinda has had her over more because she is freaking out over the meeting that is comingup next week. The lack of having her around has given me abundant time to think about how much I crave just being near her. And then I think about the fact that she is supposed to inherit an entire empire and I am quickly reminded that I have nothing to offer that equates to that.
I coach at the gym and fight in a pit stained with sweat, blood, and tears on the weekend. That’s the one place I have always felt a purpose and the past few fights have left me feeling abandoned.
“Alright, Ol. You have to get changed.” Eli coaxes me out of the shower.
“I think you should pull from the next fight. You’re hurt.” Max advises as I start to strip from my shorts.
“I can’t pull. I already told him I would fight.” I state simply.
“You can. Whatever it is you’re chasing out there..” Eli hands me fresh clothes, “you’re not going to find it.”
“I’m not chasing anything.” I sit down and start to remove the soaking wet wraps that are already irritating my skin.
“She would have come if you just asked her.” Maxwell hands me clean wraps as I toss the wet ones on the bench.
“She’s busy.” I haven’t told them about her family. Or the fact that Dad has known who she is since they hired her at the gym. A job that she doesn’t even need. A job she is perfect at. The gym isn’t just an open space for delinquents anymore. It’s a self running business with new members coming in every day and actually staying because she’s made our processes that much better. We have classes for every person that walks through the doors. We have kids whose lives are being changed because of the money she so adamantly raised to support them. She’s been trained to raise empires from ashes her whole life. That’s what she is designed to do and she has the heart to do it in a way that changes the world. But she can’t do that without the resources she has with her family. Which means that as much fun as she has had here and as muchas she has built here, she can’t do what her heart yearns for with them. The world runs on money.
“I don’t know what happened at that party, but you’ve been moping around for days.” Eli points out. I try to stand but my breath is caught in an excruciating way behind my ribs. My foot falters and I fall back to the bench.
“Call the fight.” Maxwell practically begs.
“No.” I can’t explain to them why I feel the need to go right back out there. They’ve never felt lost a day in their life. Devyn has always been Eli’s directional foundation. And Maxwell isn’t afraid of anything. He has never known what it’s like to disappoint someone because his heart is too full of love.
“Okay, fine.” Eli helps me back up. “You fight, we fight.” Eli nods at me and then nods at Maxwell.
“You fight, we fight.” Max agrees.
Oliver
Are you home?
Mia
Just got back!
Oliver
Can I come over?
Mia
Only if you bring part of your cereal stash.
Only this girl can make the pain of laughing through cracked ribs and a paralyzing migraine worth it. I stop by the store on my way and grab several boxes of cereal that I know she usually goes for and her favorite brand of milk. She went on a huge rant one day about how it’s local and they give back to the schools to help fund programs to give kids more access to free therapy by working with farm animals. I can’t remember everything she said, but I can remember the proud smile she wore when she said it.
