Page 54 of Betraying Him
I approach the bed slowly, making sure there’s a good amount of distance between us before I crouch down so that we’re eye level. Her breath catches, but she stays perfectly still as her eyes scan over me, no doubt waiting to see what I’ll do.
Little does she know that if she gives me even the slightest inclination that she doesn’t want me here, then I’ll leave without argument.
“I know you’re no doubt struggling right now, but I just want you to know that if you need anything—anything at all—then you can come to me. I know we don’t have the best history, but I just wanna help you, Sav.”
Eyes widening slightly, she sucks in a breath before slowly blowing it out. Then she tips her chin down in a single nod. “Okay…” she murmurs slowly. “But why?”
Ouch.
That hurts more than it should, but it’s nothing less than I deserve.
For some fucked up reason, my eyes begin to sting, and I blink rapidly to stop the sensation before answering her. “No one deserves to deal with what you have, Sav. No one should put up with what you have, and I’m sorry for the part I’ve played in things. If I could go back and change it, I would, but I can’t.
“I fucked up, Sav. I was such an asshole to you, and I’m so sorry. I don’t expect forgiveness from you; I just hope you know I’ll be here if you need anything. I’ll always be here.”
Her confused expression breaks my fucking heart, and I stand, backing up toward the door before I can put my foot in my mouth anymore. The fact she doesn’t get that I want to help her shouldn’t come as a surprise, but it does. Then again, why wouldn’t it? All I’ve done for the last few years is hate her, made my anger known, and done everything I possibly can to terrorize her.
All it does is remind me what a goddamn piece of shit I am.
As my hand touches the metal of the handle, I can’t help but add, “I really am sorry, little devil. You always did deserve better.”
Better than me.
Better than her father.
Better than whatever it is she’s been through.
I leave her there, blinking in astonishment and hightail it to my room, where I can finally break down in peace.
Where I can finally face everything I’vedone to someone who I not only cared about, but who I’m pretty sure cared about me.
I always knew she would be my undoing, I just didn’t think it would go down like this.
I didn’t think my world would fall apart around me, leaving her in the center.
THIRTY-EIGHT
SAVANNAH
I pace Logan’s room—eventhough it hurts—as I debate what to do. That’s three of them now telling me to stay here, and while that sounds like a nice idea, it also sounds like some kind of hell.
I don’t know what Harley’s game is, but it’s freaking me out.
And Logan and Lana have no goddamn idea how hard it would be for me to live here—even if temporarily—in Harley’s space.
Since even before betraying him, my entire life has centered around him, and finally,finally, over the last couple of months, I’ve managed to somehow find my way back to myself. He began avoiding me, and while it’s nice he no longer wishes to do that, the cynical part of me thinks this is all just a ploy, whether by him or the universe, to let me lower my guard before I crumble completely.
I haven’t even begin to process, and I probably won’t for a while. That’s not how I work.
The police will no doubt want to talk to me, since I killed a man, and—God, this is going to get back to everyone in school.
And the media.
And my father.
Great, I’m fucked. As soon as he hears what happened, he won’t just send one person to collect me, he’ll send a whole team of them, and last night will be a tame comparison to what will happen to me.
For years, I’ve worked to avoid this outcome, but I’ve reached it anyway.
