Page 77 of The Stag & The Owl
He tilted up her chin and smiled down intoher beautiful, sad face, and she smiled back through her tears.Helowered his mouth to hers and kissed her, soft, tender, andlingering sweet, and then he broke the kiss, offered her his arm,and walked her up the gangplank.
***
Alina stepped onto theTrade Wind’sdeck, loath to let go of Roark’s arm.To let go of him.They stoodthere for an eternity as the ship’s crew loaded the barrels ofwhisky and batts of wool in the hold, neither of them speaking aword.What was there left to say?They’d been saying good-bye fordays now, all the words had been spoken, all the endearmentswhispered, their love proclaimed.
When the last of the trade goods had beenloaded, and the hatches battened down, Roark lifted Alina’s handfrom his arm, kissed the backs of her fingers, untied the sheathfrom his waist belt, and placed the spyglass in her hand.He gaveher one last, slow, melting grin, and then he turned and walkedback down the gangplank.
Holding the spyglass in her numb fingers,Alina stood rooted to the deck as she watched Roark walk away fromher.She clamped her jaw tight to keep from calling out after him,to beg him not to give himself up to almost certain death for thesake of others.For her.Yet she knew she couldn’t.She couldn’task him to give up his honor for her.She’d tried, many times, andhe’d refused every time, and she loved him all the more for it.
She stood and watched him mount Beasty as theship’s captain gave the orders to set sail.She watched him takeEtain’s reins and led her over to stand between Scott’s and Ross’smounts.She watched as he looked up and found her gaze and held it.He smiled, and she tried to smile back but couldn’t, else herfragile mask of fortitude would crack and break.
She startled at the creak of rigging and thesnap of sails unfurling and closed her ears to the shouts of thesailors throwing off tie lines to the dock.
Beneath her feet the ship lurched forward asthe wind filled the sails.She touched her fingertips to her lipsand held her hand up to Roark, her tears falling freely as the windand the tide pulled the ship, and her, away from her one truelove.
CHAPTER 16
The Road Back
Riding away from Alina was like cutting outhis own heart with a dull, rusted spoon.Yet Roark was bound by hisword, and his love for her to do it.He’d helped get her free ofRoger and on her way home to her family, his atonement for havinghelped bring her to Roger in the first place.He’d done what hisheart and his honor demanded.If Roger killed him for it, so be it.His only regret would be never seeing her again.Never gazing intoher brilliant green eyes, never talking to her again.Never tastingher sweet kiss or touching her warm, smooth skin.Never making lovewith her.
He pulled his otter cloak closer around hisshoulders as a chill set into his bones, though it wasn’t aparticularly cold day.He glanced back toward the firth as the roadturned south, but the ship was already out of sight.Alina was outof sight, but not his mind.
She would haunt him for the rest of his daysand nights.His own bittersweet ghost whose memory was alreadydearer to him than life.If he was meant to die, then it would bewith her image in his mind, legs bare and hair blowing in the windas she raced her mare along the sea’s shore.Free.
“Don't look so hangdog,” Scott said over hisshoulder.“You’ll have plenty more to brood over than your princesssoon enough.”
Scott and Ross rode ahead of Roark withDouglas and Todd behind him.As he’d predicted, Scott had alreadypaid Ned and his cohorts a copper each and sent them down the road,where they’d likely drink and piss their three coppers’ worth ofale away at the closest inn.
Roark had always gotten along with these fourmen-at-arms.Better than Leif, who’d never hesitated to throw hisweight around.He’d sworn he wouldn’t try to run, and they’d takenhim at his word and let him ride unbound.Whether they tied him upwhen they camped for the night remained to be seen.Either way,he’d given his word and he intended to keep it.
“How’s the family taking Leif’s death?”heasked.
“As you’d expect,” Scott answered.“Hismother is distraught, his aunt and uncle are angry, his sister isusing it as an excuse to be even more lazy and demanding, and hisfather is…” Scott shook his head.“I’ve never seen the laird insuch a rage.”
Which was understandable, and Roark doubtedhad abated in the time he and Alina had been on the run.KnowingRoger and his penchant for holding grudges and seeking revenge, hisrage had grown white hot.
Roark edged Beasty up alongside Scott’shorse.“What have you heard about my family?”he asked.
“Your father remains loyal to Roger,” Scotttold him.“Other than that, I haven’t heard.”
Which meant his brother would stand by Rogertoo, and his mother was staying circumspect.Smart.
The road turned southeast and would beturning more southerly tomorrow when it connected to the roadrunning along the coastal side of the Mounths.Roark had left Arturon the far west side of the mountain range.He figured Artur’s hoofhad either healed by now, or he’d foundered.He chose to imaginethe stallion thriving and living free as king of the mountainrather than having died a slow and painful death from sepsis.
His mind traveled from the mountain pass tothe cave.To his time there with Alina, cocooned in their ownlittle world, a world of love, laughter, and passion.A world hecouldn’t think of without his gut twisting into knots of yearning.He shook his head and squared his shoulders.Better to think ofAlina onboard theTrade Wind,her face to the wind, touslingher hair.He’d savor the memories of their time together in thecave when he was alone.
He took in the grassy foothills dotted withsheep and shaggy highland cows, the small fishing villages andstone manor houses, and the roadside towns, yet all he saw in hismind’s eye was Alina.Riding on the beach.Bent over her herbs, herhands covered in soil, the look of surprise and recognition on herface when he’d stepped out from behind Leif.Her look of betrayalwhen she’d realized he was abducting her.
She may have forgiven him for his betrayal,but Roger would never forgive him for switching his loyalties.Roger thought they’d killed Leif, and Roark only had six or sevendays to figure out how to convince him otherwise.Which, knowingRoger, would be difficult at best even with proof, and he hadnone.
Day turned into night as his thoughts stillwent round and round the same circle of events, and no solutionspresented themselves.At least making camp and seeing to Beasty andEtain gave him something to do besides ride and fret.Unlike Nedand his companions, Scott and his men shared their supper fairly,and though they did tie him to a tree for the night, they cushionedthe rope around his wrists with strips of felt from Etain’s saddleblanket, much as he had done for Alina onThe Rover.Alina,who would be sleeping in the hold of theTrade Wind,unboundand uncuffed, and without Roark by her side.
He recalled the times she’d sworn she sleptbetter on the cold, hard ground or a stables floor with him thanshe did in a soft, warm bed without him.He concentrated on sendinghis thoughts across the land and over the sea to her.Thoughts ofcalm, peace, and love.
He fell asleep thinking of her and he woke upthinking of her.He thought of her all day as he rode, and allnight as he lay awake and eventually fell asleep and dreamt of her.He was definitely thinking of her when he woke with his cock ashard as forged iron and no sweet Alina to release him.His onlyease was knowing her ship would be out of the firth by now and onits way across the North Sea.
Their third day of riding was much like thefirst two, except they were heading almost due south now, and theskies were threatening rain.The rain held off until dusk, and madefor a cold, wet, miserable night of fitful sleep spent huddledunder a canopy of trees that was as far from his and Alina’s cozycave as their little world had been from reality.
