Page 72 of The Stallion & The Tigress
“Your father paid you, Serge, and Pyotr.”
“My point is, my child will not be raised acosseted, spoilt royal.”
“Mine will not be raised an uncouth,roundhouse-dwelling, ignoramus.”
Aleksi left, slamming the trapdoor over hishead, dropped down to the ground, and stomped through the gardensto the lattice that led to his chambers, grumbling under his breaththe whole way.
“Royal fucking bitch.I was more than goodenough for her when it was the two of us alone in the wild.I washer stallion, and she couldn’t get enough of me.I thought she wasdifferent than other royals, that my touch meant as much to her ashers did to me, but we get back here to her royal family’s palaceand she wants nothing to do with me.She swore she had no need orwant of a man, until she wanted me, gave herself to me, trustedme.”
He stopped and turned around, eyeing thecedar.
“Until she cursed me with wanting her sobadly I gave in.I gave in and lay with her and loved her until Inot only wanted her, I craved her, needed her, needed her to bemine.”He took a few steps back in the direction of the tree andthe woman still there.“Is that why I let myself be blinded by ourpassion?Why I acted like some lovesick lad and did not takeprecautions against planting my seed in her womb?Was I trying totrap my tigress?”
He took another few steps and leaned againsta column.
“Stupid man.If I’ve managed to trap her andtie myself by the stones to her, do I truly expect her to choosethe life of a poor, horse-trading bastard over that of a privilegedprincess?Would I choose that life for our child, our children,over one of wealth and ease?Could I be the bigger man and acceptbeing consort to a princess, and have my life ruled over by herroyal family for the sake of our children?”
Aleksi rolled his forehead against the columnas if he could press an answer into his brain.
“I could leave.Take my coin and horses andhead south instead of north.Serge and Pyotr would likely join me.We could settle in some new city, set ourselves up, start newlives.Sahar would keep her father from coming after me, her pridewould never let him chase me down like the dog I am for eventhinking such a thing.No.I would never abandon my child.Mychildren shall know their father’s love until the end of theirdays.”
He walked slowly to the cedar.
“Her family may be royal, but they are asdifferent from mine as night from day.They have already taken meinto their home, treated me like a hero for doing what was rightwhen they know I’ve done wrong and lain with their daughter.”Hestood at the foot of the cedar and gazed up.“Yet it felt soright.”
He started to climb up the tree, and stoppedat the sound of quiet weeping.He continued and tried to push openthe trapdoor, but she had thrown the bolt shut.
“Sahar,” he said, and he knew she heard himwhen her weeping turned to snuffles.“If you are with child, I’llstay.I’ll stay and raise my child in your city with your family.I’d hoped you had enough faith in me, in us, to make a good life byour own efforts.That you would be proud to stand by me and work bymy side to build that life together.”
CHAPTER 16
Alliances
Since her argument with Aleksi in the cedartree, Sahar was acting more like a chicken than a tigress hiding inher chambers for the past three days.In that time, three things ofimportance had happened.The first of the messengers her father hadsent out had returned, bringing with them oaths of alliance shouldthe Ox start a war.Brawn had come back with the news that the Wolfhad made it to the Crow’s city alive, barely, and that riders hadbeen sent to the Ox to inform him of his son’s condition,purportedly caused by Sahar’s and Aleksi’s treachery.Sahar’s moonflow had arrived with a vengeance that left her curled around a hotbrick on her bed with a cool, wet cloth over her forehead.
The first two happenings she knew because hermother and Halah—the only two people she admitted into her chambersother than her maid servant, Safa—had told her.
The third she’d told her mother with thepromise that Sahar would be the one to tell Aleksi.
Aleksi.
She’d heard every word he said to her throughthe bolted door to the treehouse, and the myriad of emotions she’dfelt, that she still felt, overwhelmed her.Shame, regret, pity,anger, frustration, and guilt, especially guilt, because he wasright.She should’ve had enough faith in him to know he would takecare of her and any babe they made.He was a good, strong,honorable man, who would have given his life for her, and who hadproved it many times over.He’d never gone back on his word, andnever would.He’d told her from almost the moment they met that hewanted a good, strong-bodied woman with an easy temper to marry andraise his sons.
She’d never been, and would never be thateasy-tempered woman whose only dream in life was to marry and havebabies, a fact she had made clear from the start.She’d neverpledged her love, or made any commitments during their few nightsof physical passion.He was a strutting stallion looking for adocile broodmare, and she, by his own words, was a fierce tigresswary of traps.Ah, but while she may not have set her trap, she hadfallen for the handsome bait and walked straight into it.Straightinto the arms of a man whose cocky grin and hearty laughter madeher smile despite herself.Whose easy company and teasing bantersoothed and inflamed her.Whose touch turned her bones to liquidfire, and whose strong, steady presence grounded her.
Who had told her she meant nothing to him inanger once, though his body, his eyes, his whispered endearmentshad told her otherwise since.
He’d never told her he loved her.They hadnever promised that to each other.
She didn’t know if she wanted him to love herwith more than his body.The idea of loving him, all of him, bodyand soul, as her mother and father loved each other seemedimpossible.Yes, they shared desire and passion that burned hot andfast, but they’d never had the easy, effortless relationship thather Uncle Nasim and Auntie Lyrra had, or even the sweet adorationthat made her brother and Rima glow when gazing at each other andtheir newborn son.
Sahar rolled her aching head from side toside and laid a hand over her empty womb before pushing herself upand off the bed.None of it mattered now.She was not with child.She and Aleksi wouldn’t marry, and he’d be leaving for his homesoon with his string of broodmares and one hundred and thirty-twogold pieces in his purse.Enough to start his new life withouther.
“Enough,” she said as she stood on shakinglegs.She drew a deep breath in and blew it out.“Enough.”Sheopened her bedroom door to her outer chambers.“Safa,” she called.“I’d like to bathe.”As a woman in flux, she wouldn’t bathe in thewoman’s pool, but there was a wooden tub kept for such times.“Please tell my mother I’ll be supping with the family thisevening.”
“It is a formal supper this evening,mistress, held in honor of the emissaries who have come bearingoaths of alliance from their kings.”
“Thank you.I’ll wear my red worm weave.”
