Page 27 of Spring L.A.W.
Victoria winced, waved at a wall diffuser, and it spurted scent. The studio was instantly hit with a desperate puff of lavender and eucalyptus. It tried. It failed. The stench persisted.
Reginald, unbothered, continued grooming. His armor, now on the floor, was dinged up. His tiny Kevlar vest sported a line of bottle caps like campaign medals. One had a demon tooth hot-glued to it. Another was smeared in what might have been glitter. Or blood. Or both.
“I think he’s my new muse,” Lioness whispered reverently, sketchpad already open again.
“You don’t need him. Don’t you already have a bad-ass familiar?” Victoria asked.
“Yes, but it’s illegal to have lions as pets in this country.”
“Probably in most countries,” Brianna said. “Is that really your familiar? A lion?”
“Yes,” Lioness said, a sad expression on her face. “I don’t see him very often. He has only shown up when I was in mortal danger.” Then she smiled. “Whoever is threatening to harm me immediately thinks twice. So, what are those bottle caps on Reginald’s vest, Victoria?”
“I’m right here,” Reginald said, pausing his grooming.
Brianna gasped. “It talks!”
“Oh, sorry,” Lioness said. “Would you like to answer the question, Reginald?”
“These are my medals. This one is for bravery,” he said as he pointed to one of the bottle caps. “And this one is for my first kill. He pointed to the one with the tooth. And this one,” he pointed to the glittery one, “is for arts and crafts. I’m especially proud of that one.”
“Well, aren’t you something!” Lioness said, grinning.
“He’s definitely something,” Joell muttered, eyeing the raccoon.
Victoria flipped through the printed readouts. “Okay. So, your combined surge of chaotic energy created a spike so powerful it temporarily scrambled three cell towers and lit up a ley line in Connecticut.”
Rayna hid a smirk behind her hand. “I take it, it’s not supposed to do that?”
“No,” Victoria said. “At first, it looked like lightning, then a spiral, then a middle finger. Then it blinked ‘LOL’ in Celtic knots.”
“Awesome,” Joell said. “We’ve weaponized sarcasm.”
Victoria turned the readouts so they could see. “Here’s the bad news: whatever you were fighting didn’t fully die. It dissipated. And it’s probably reconstituting itself as we speak.”
“What about the government, or whatever was in the black SUV when we got there?” Joell asked. “Does your printout have any details on that?”
“Victoria scanned the papers, one by one. “Nope,” she finally said.
“Oh, but the mess,” Rayna muttered. “Should we do something about that lot? Or just send Reginald with a vacuum cleaner?”
Reginald snarled lightly, then reached into his vest and pulled out what looked suspiciously like someone’s abandoned protein bar. He ate it with a vengeance.
Victoria crossed her arms. “Also, just FYI, the Brooklyn sewer system exploded ten minutes ago. I’m guessing that’s us?”
Joell nodded. “I’ll file the paperwork.”
“I wish I could file myself into retirement,” Rayna said.
“You can’t abandon us,” Brianna cried.
“She won’t,” Joel said, smirking. “She loves us too much.”
A light flickered ominously overhead. A yoga mat rolled itself off the rack and flopped onto the floor, then inch-wormed away like it was trying to escape.
“Is the mansion sentient? Is it trying to tell us something?” Brianna asked.
Victoria looked up. “This wing’s enchantments are mildly reactive. It probably just wants you all to hit the showers.”
