Page 93 of Next Time We'll Fall

“I could see it in your eyes.”

“You could see what?” he asks, confused.

“The love. I could see the love pouring at me. I could see you adored me, and there used to be a part of me that would second-guess and not trust what I thought I knew, but every part of my soul and fiber knows this is pure and right. This is real for you, isn’t it?”

“It’s always been real for me, Juniper. Even that kiss when you turned eighteen, it was the most magical night of my life. And I thought I could be strong. I thought I could resist, but it’s always been you. And I know I’ve been obnoxious and grumpy and looked after you and looked over you like some sort of crazy, overprotective bodyguard, but it’s just because I wanted to make sure you were safe and I wanted to make sure you were loved and protected, and I always want that role in your life. I just want it as your boyfriend and your husband and as the father of your children and …”

“Oh shit.” August rolls his eyes. “Looks like you want to be an actor, my friend. Talk about a monologue.”

He shakes his head. “I think this is going nowhere, Jackie.”

She lets out a sigh and goes to her clipboard. “Okay. Well, there’s a girl called Lily who I think could also work. You want to meet her and see what you think?”

“Sure thing,” he says.

“Well, nice meeting you, Juniper.” He nods and smiles. “And, Rafe, good luck, buddy.”

Rafe and I just stand there as Jackie and August walk away.

I start laughing because the entire situation is absurd.

“What just happened?” I say as I look at him.

“I don’t know.” He shakes his head. “Something crazy, something we’ll tell our kids and grandkids about one day?”

“No one will probably believe us, but we’ll know it was true.”

“You want to have kids with me?”

“I do,” he says. “Do you want to have kids with me?”

“Eventually. I mean, we have to go on more than one date, and we have to have sex more than one time.”

“We had sex two times,” he says with a wink and I blush as I think about our quickie in the shower.

I laugh. “You know what I mean.”

“Well, wouldn’t you know, I have another date lined up for us already?”

“You do?” I stare at him. “No way.”

“Anyway,” he says, “you know something I’ve realized, Juniper?”

“No, tell me.”

“I’ve realized that I have wasted years being in love with you and not doing anything out of some sort of misguided principle that doesn’t even make sense. And I think part of the reason I was so upset at Luke and Mia for getting together was because I felt like they had crossed boundaries that they just weren’t meant to, to protect their friendship. And when they got together, I realized that maybe I was being a fool. Maybe I had wasted time spending so many years not wanting to cross thoseboundaries because of some sort of honor. And I regretted it, but I just didn’t know how to get around it, how to let you see that I was interested. I knew you were hurt. I knew you were upset. And I knew you were really trying to distance yourself from me. And it hurt me because I felt like we had a pretty good relationship before that night.”

“I mean, yeah, but it was obviously based on the fact that I was spending a lot of time with you because I had a crush on you. And you hurt me when you turned me down.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I’ll never do it again,” he says. “You know that, right?”

“I hope so.” I stare at him. “Is it crazy? Are we crazy?”

“If we’re crazy, we’re crazy together.”

“You know what’s funny?” I say to him.

“Oh, what?”