Page 89 of Next Time We'll Fall

“Not at all. In fact, I was thinking that we could perhaps tease a little drama in the first couple of episodes, and then you can show up on the honeymoon.”

“On what honeymoon?”

“On the honeymoon where August and Juniper go after they get married, of course.”

“What are you talking about? The show hasn’t even started yet. He hasn’t even chosen her.”

She looks at me like I’m dumb and shakes her head. “Hon, I’m the one who will choose who he ends up with.”

“What?”

“I take it, you don’t watch many reality TV shows.”

“No, but what does that have to do with anything?”

“It’s not real. Reality TV shows are as real asSharknado.”

“Okay. I’m going to take your word for it, but I have no interest in being on this show. In fact, Juniper is not looking to marry August, and I am not looking for her to marry him either. She is part of the show because …” I pause. “I don’t really know if I should say this information because I don’t want Juniper to get fired, even though I desperately don’t want her to be involved with whatever drama is about to be strung up because I have a feeling it’s going to get complicated.”

“Listen to me. What was your name again?” She stares at me.

“Rafe.”

“And what do you do again, Rafe?” Is she just a bad listener or does she have a memory problem?

“I’m a vet.”

“Perfect. Oh my gosh. I can see it now. Hollywood star versus small-town vet. The gorgeous, handsome movie star takes on the cozy, comforting?—”

“Excuse me?” I interrupt her. “Neither of those terms are exactly?—”

“Oh, don’t mind me. I haven’t come up with the exact phrasing I’ll use.” She looks me up and down. “And don’t get me wrong; you’re a very handsome man. You’ve got very blue eyes. Your hair could use a cut, and your dress sense is shit, but you’re a small-town vet. I don’t expect anything better. But we get you into styling, maybe some makeup, lift some muscles, lose ten pounds … shit, I’ll have women all over America dying to be with you.”

“I don’t want women all over America dying to be with me. I want to be with Juniper. I’m not really sure what’s going on here, but I’m not going to set up in some sort of love triangle on this dating show. And Juniper is not interested in getting married to or going on a honeymoon with this guy.”

“Okay. And you speak for her, do you?”

“She’s my …” I pause. “I can’t call her my girlfriend because she’s not technically my girlfriend, but she’s my lover,” I admit.

And immediately, I feel regret at exposing that fact, seeing as we only just got together the night before.

I expect Jackie to be shocked. I expect Jackie to immediately turn around and fire Juniper, but all she does is start laughing.

“I see. Well, good on Juniper. Didn’t know she had it in her.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean, she’s such a good girl. I wouldn’t expect her to fuck a dude right before she started filming a dating show. But I suppose you were with her before she technically met August, so she’s not cheating.”

“What do you mean, she’s not cheating? What on earth are you talking about?”

“I don’t know if you’ve been listening to me, Rafe. I don’t know if, as a vet, you’re not used to human interaction, but Juniper and August are going to be a couple. They’re going toget married. They’re going to have a honeymoon in Mauritius, sponsored by Expedia.com, and then they will go to Fiji, and then they will likely compete onThe Amazing Race. And then there will be a follow-up TV show about them trying to get pregnant. And if it happens within the first couple of years, there’ll be another show documenting them as young parents. After that … well, who knows? The sky’s the limit.”

I stare at her like she’s absolutely crazy. “Does Juniper know any of this?”

“I don’t know”—she shrugs—“but August sure does. And he seems to agree with me that Juniper is the perfect match.”

“It looks like there are many other beautiful women who are interested in him. Why Juniper?”