Page 70 of Next Time We'll Fall

And what they had to say was correct.

I need to make a move and make it something impressive, or I just need to back off.

I am into Juniper.

Not just kind of into her, butinto her, into her.

And I have been for a long time.

I want her in my life, and I do not want to see her with anyone else.

So, I need to think of a way to let her know.

I need to think of a way to make her feel special.

And I need to think of a way to make this all happen fast because, as much as I hate to admit it, I need to be with her.

I want to spend every night with her.

And that isn’t going to happen unless we are in a real relationship. I can’t believe that I’m finally ready to spend the rest of my life with someone. I can’t believe that it’s Juniper. But I know deep inside that it’s always been her. She’s the best part of me and she doesn’t even know it. When I’m around her I’m funnier, more charming, more caring, more loving, more everything. When I’m around her I feel like I’m living and not just surviving.

Now I just need to find out if she feels the same way. I need to make her my better half.

Chapter 18

JUNIPER

“Hi, Juniper!” Lily comes rushing up to me as we all get ready to head out to dinner. “Some of the girls and I are going to go to cocktails in Key West after dinner. Do you want to join us? We thought it’d be fun to go dancing.” Lily looks like she’s just stepped out of a magazine and I wonder how she gets her makeup to look so good in the humidity.

“Oh, thank you so much for inviting me, but my cousins are in town, and I feel really bad that I haven’t spent any time with them today. So, I actually think I’m going to skip the dinner and just head home.”

“Ah man,” Lily says, looking disappointed. “I understand though. I’m really excited for tomorrow. Aren’t you?”

I nod slowly. I wouldn’t say that excited was the word. More like surreal. Everything feels surreal. Like I’m walking in a life that isn’t mine. Like I’m watching it from above.

“Kind of. I just feel like I don’t really know why I’m on the show.” I laugh to lessen the fact that I feel overwhelmed. “All of you girls seem so poised, and I just feel like I’m not the sort ofwoman who should be on this show.” I don’t want to say that I don’t feel good enough, but I don’t. All these women have it so together. They are so beautiful. And yet I’m just me. I don’t feel particularly beautiful. Well sometimes I do. When I’m with Rafe, I feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I suppose that means something, but I don’t want to ponder on it too much.

“Remember what I said to you before?” Lily grabs my shoulders. “Be confident. You’re here for a reason, girl. And I have a feeling that August Pitt is going to absolutely love you. You know he’s from a small town, right?”

“No, I didn’t know that. I guess I don’t know that much about him.”

“Oh, yeah, girl. He grew up in Guam or Samoa or something. One of his parents was in the military, so I think he would love another small-town girl. I mean, not to be rude or anything. You’re not like Pollyanna.”

“It’s okay,” I say, cutting her off. “You don’t have to apologize. I am a small-town girl, and I’m excited to meet him.”

“Yeah, it’ll be good. You sure you don’t want to come to dinner and dancing with us?”

“I’m sure, but thank you.” I grab my stuff and give her a quick hug. “See you tomorrow.”

“Bye.”

I walk out of the hut they’ve created for all the contestants and notice that Jackie is standing there with her clipboard.

“Hey, Juniper. Good filming today. The camera loves you.”

“I’m glad to hear that, even though I guess it does add twenty pounds, right?”

“You look great. So, just so you know, it’s likely that you’ll be getting one of the first dates tomorrow. So, make sure you bring a really cute dress.”