Page 64 of Next Time We'll Fall
“No, I don’t. I run a bookstore here on the island.”
“Oh my gosh, it’s so cute. Is it on Main Street?”
“Well, it’s not actually a physical location. It’s in a renovated VW van. We’re actually on the beach.”
“Oh, I think I’ve seen it—that cute little mint VW.”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, I’ll have to stop by and buy some books from you.” She smiles. “So, that’s really interesting.”
“What?” I ask.
“Well, we both have secrets we want to keep hidden, and we both seem like we’re interested in other men. Maybe we can use this to our advantage.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, maybe we can try and ensure that we both go further in the show. One, I can do it to try and get an agent. And two, you can try and do it to get this man of yours to finally see that if he wants to actually have a real shot with you, he’s going to need to come correct. And trust me, if he sees that August Pitt, the most famous actor in the world, is after you, he’s going to come correct really soon. And the thing is, if he doesn’t, then that just shows you he’s not that into you, and you can move on with your life. And if it’s with August, even better.”
She lowers her voice. “Plus, I don’t want any of these other bitches to win. I want it to be a genuine girl, like you.”
“Oh my gosh, that’s so sweet, but don’t you want to win?”
“No,” she says, shaking her head quickly. “My fiancé would not be okay with that. If you win, you have to go on a honeymoon, and let’s just say that the producers are pretty clear that they expect stuff to go down. Like real stuff.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, they’ll be providing the condoms and the morning-after pill.”
“What? They expect us to have sex with him?”
“Only if you get super far because sex sells and they want to get high ratings.” She wrinkles her nose. “It’s so sad. It actually is quite depressing if you think about it.”
“Yeah. I mean, I’m definitely not interested in having sex with him.”
“Well, I guess neither one of us wants to win then,” she says.
“Yeah, that’s why I think maybe I should back out because if I know I don’t want to win, then I’m definitely not going to get the two hundred thousand.”
“But, girl, remember each episode we’re in, we get five grand. Plus, do it to make your man jealous.”
“He’s not my man. He’s my best friend’s brother, and I don’t even know how I feel anymore. I’m so confused.”
“Did you enjoy last night?”
I stare at her and nod slowly.
Thoughts of him holding me, kissing me, touching me—they warm me inside. Thinking of his tender blue eyes and the way that he smells and the way that he feels—I just want to hold it inside of me forever.
“Yeah. I mean, if I’m one hundred percent honest, I think he’s my one. I’ve loved him since I was seventeen, and at eighteen, I thought he might love me too, but I was wrong. And I guess that feeling has never really gone away. And I don’t know; maybe for him, it’s just a sex thing. Maybe for him, he’s just realized that,Oh wow, Juniper’s grown up, and she’s got a body, and she knows what she’s doing.”
“And stop second-guessing yourself, Juniper. I know we just met, but you’re fun, and you’re funny, and you’re honest, and you’re great. And trust me when I say, any man would be delighted to have you. Just because they don’t realize it yet is not about you. It just means they’re dumb because, as someone who’s been with over twenty-six different men—please do not judge—I know men are dumb as fuck. Most of them never wise up, and when the other half do, it’s usually at a point in their life when they’ve missed out on some really great women. Neverblame yourself or think you’re not enough just because a guy you’re into doesn’t see your worth and your potential.”
“Oh my gosh, you are so sweet, Lily.”
“Well, I try. And I think it’s important to be a girl’s girl, even though I’m into men. Just in case you were wondering.”
“I wasn’t, but thank you.” I laugh. “You remind me of my cousins Sage and Rosie. They’re really honest and direct, too, and I really appreciate that.”
