Page 161 of The Redemption
His eyes soften for the first time since this argument began. “The only thing I regret is blackmailing you through your mother. I know that was unforgivable. But it was the only way I knew you would agree to the marriage.”
I continue to stare at him without saying a word.
“I never intended to separate her from you.” He gives a slight shake of his head.“I know what it means to grow up without a mother. I would never knowingly let someone else go through that pain because of me.”
The anger inside me falters for a bit. His words don’t erase what he did. They don’t make it right either. But they do make me understand why he acted the way he did. Still... it changes nothing. I stare at him, my eyes already heavy with unshed tears.
“But you knew I never wanted this life, Raghav. You knew I never wanted anyone connected to the mafia or that world as my husband.”
Without warning, his hand shoots out and grips my elbow. He again pulls me towards him until I collide against his warm chest, still slick with sweat.
“You should have thought about that before putting the garland around my neck or kissing me that night,” he says. “Now it’s too late.”
A bitter smile touches my lips as I slowly nod.
“Right. It’s too late.” I laugh softly, shaking my head. “I was such a fool, wasn’t I? To believe that at least you would understand why I wanted to escape this mafia life forever. Someone who himself had walked away from that darkness, looking for peace, would relate to my desperation to break free. But I was so wrong.”
I let out a humourless laugh. “Do you know why I never wanted a man from the mafia, Raghav? Why I wanted to escape this life. Why I never wanted someone likeyouas my husband?”
Raghav says nothing. He just glares at me with his jaw still clenched. “It’s because I spent my entire childhood watching my mother stand at the door every night, waiting for my father to come back home…alive.”
My throat tightens.
“Waiting to hear the sound of his car pulling into the driveway. And every single time he was late, every single time his phone was unreachable, every single time somebody knocked on our door unexpectedly... we thought he was dead.”
Silence falls between us.
“You know what my childhood memories are? It’s not birthdays, holidays, or family trips. My memories are filled with blood. I remember Dad walking into the house covered in it. I remember bullet wounds on his body. I remember Mom locking herself in the bathroom because she didn’t want me to see her cry. And every time he left the house again, we did the same thing.” I look straight into his eyes. “We waited and prayed that he would come back alive.”
Raghav swallows, his grip on my arms loosening a bit.
“And then one day... he didn’t come back. The man who lived like a king, the man everyone feared, still died on a road. He still died alone, at the hands of his enemies.”
Fresh tears sting my eyes.
“And all we got was the news of his death. That’s it.” I grab his vest with both hands. “So tell me, Raghav, why would I willingly choose that life for myself? Why would I choose to live in fear? Why would I choose to spend every single day wondering whether my husband will ever come back home alive?”
I shake my head.
“That’s why I never wanted to marry into a mafia. Because I already know how this story ends. I just wanted a normal life. I wanted to wake up every morning without wondering whether danger was already making its way to my doorstep. I wanted peace.”
I clutch his vest tighter.
“But you...” A tear slips down my cheek. “You brought me right back into it. You brought me back into the same nightmare I spent years trying to escape.”
I exhale deeply and slowly let go of him. He looks at me as if he finally understands the fear I’ve been carrying all this time. But he does nothing. Raghav just in silence, with no answers or no words that can ease my insecurities.
“You picked the gun after all these years for me. You say you did it to protect me. But in the process, you crushed the biggest dream of my life. And I’ll never forgive you for that.”
He continues to look at me. There’s no anger in his eyes anymore, no arrogance, just empathy.I look away first. Without saying another word, I step back from him and turn around. I’m done with this conversation. Done with his explanations. Done with trying to figure out where his mistakes end and mine begin.
Because the truth is, he isn’t entirely wrong.
Yes, I played a part in this, even if I never meant to. I should have ignored the attraction between us and not led him on, even if unknowingly. Maybe if the garland thing had neverhappened, if that kiss had never happened, Raghav would never have crossed the line he did.
Maybe he’s right.
Somewhere along the way, Itriggered him,hecountered, and the rest that happened is the biggest f*cking regret of my life.
