Page 44 of Owned
Again all I do is nod because my words have fucked off and left me. Which in all honesty I’m happy about. If I say something right now, it will more than likely be how she is taking up too much space in my head. I’d grasp her waist, push her against her kitchen island, and crash my lips down on hers, finally tasting exactly how sweet and perfect she is.
Shit, I have to get a hold of myself.
This whole situation has my perfectly built walls crumbling, and I’m moments away from showing her my real feelings that I’ve spent years trying to hide. I need her to want me in the way that I crave her.
“You’ve been a bit quiet tonight,” she says as she busies herself making our tea.
“I could say the same about you.”Look at that, you can talk to her and not sound like a complete dick.
“It’s been a strange day.” She laughs, pouring boiling water into our mugs.
“It has.” She hands me my mug and gestures for me to walk through into the living room.
We sit down on her sofa, and she faces me. “I’m trying to get my head around a lot here, so I’m really sorry if I seem off.”
“Don’t apologize, Ri Ri. Your life right now is a little chaotic and that’s not normal for you. I get it; you like order, and I promise I’ll help you get that again.”
“That means the world—thank you.” She shakes her head, looking into her mug. “I seriously fucked up when I fell for that prick, didn’t I?”
“You didn’t. You thought you were falling for someone who was going to be your forever. He is the one who fucked up. And I’m looking forward to you showing him how not to mess with Ria fucking Stone.”
She laughs and it really is my favorite sound. Light and infectious. “I guess you’re right.” Moving closer, she tucks her legs up on the couch, still cradling her mug, and leans into my side, her head against my shoulder. I force my body not to stiffen at the intimate position. Instead I wrap my arm around her and she snuggles in, a soft sigh falling from her lips as her body relaxes against mine. The ticking of the large ornate clock is the only sound, and the longer she stays tucked into my side, the calmer and more at peace I become. The rampant thoughts that normally roll around my head when I’m surrounded by silence never come, and I’m no longer forcing my body to relax as she nuzzles farther into my side. I allow my head to lean against hers, and I enjoy the sense of peace.
“I’ve never had this.”
“What?” she says dreamily as she drags her palm across my stomach, causing my muscles to flex.
“Someone to come home to.” She stills and I scrunch my eyes closed. “I mean, shit, not that this is real or anything; I know that. I just mean… Fuck, just forget I said that.” Sitting straight, I take her now empty mug and lean forward to place both on the coffee table, plastering a fake smile on my face as I settle back on the coach. “You know me, always rambling and saying utter crap.”
“Shh.” She sits on her heels and presses her finger to my lips. Bright blue eyes sparkle up at me with a twinkle of humor as a small, warm smile spreads across her face. “I like your ramblings.” Removing her finger from my lip, she cups my cheek lightly, stroking her thumb across my stubble. The tiny frown line appears between her brow as she continues. “It makes me sad that you have never had this. It must be lonely.”
“Sometimes.”
“Why haven’t you had this before?” She settles back into my side and warmth floods me. “You’ve always had a long line of women who would love to make a life with you.”
“Make a life?” I scoff. “No, those women wanted the lifestyle I could give them, not a life.”
She trails her hand across my chest, resting it on my pec, my heart rate spiking at the intimate touch. “But you want that, a life with someone, I mean?”
“I do.” My heart is heavy in my chest as I realize I’ve never admitted that out loud before.
“So why not date someone who you could make that life with?”
“I’m scared.”
“Scared?”
“I shouldn’t be talking about this.” Curling my hand into a fist, I try to stand, my whole body burning up. She is making me saythings that I have kept buried, and if I show her what I’m hiding, it could break me.
Holding steady, she presses her palm into my chest, forcing me to stay. “Leo, talk to me,” she pleads.
Looking away, I let out a ragged breath. “Love hurts and I’m not willing to risk it.”
“But taking a risk, betting on something, is sometimes the best thing we can do.”
“But I’m not willing to hurt someone.”
“Why would you be the one hurting them? You’re one of the kindest, most loving people I know.”
