Page 91 of Condemned By Pain
I look back at Salvario. “He said he’d give up the revenge.”
Liam is the only multi-specialty doctor Salvario trusts. He couldn’t cure him either, but he manages the episodes well.
He nods. “His subconscious won’t let him betray himself. The part that holds the pain won’t allow a choice that invalidates everything he survived.”
“Will it happen every time he goes against it?” My voice is low, tired.
“It could get worse. He can’t go against that dissociative part—that boy—after coexisting with him for so long.”
“Is there no way to get rid of him?”
Liam removes his glasses and sighs. He looks at Salvario’s still form on the bed, then back at me.
“Antonio, I’ve treated Salvario for twelve years. Consulted with seventeen specialists across five countries. Read every paper on childhood trauma, dissociative disorders, treatment-resistant PTSD. And I’ve reached a conclusion I hate.”
He pauses, pressing his fingers to his eyes.
“The boy is a survival mechanism that became a permanent resident. When Salvario was nine, his psyche split to keep him alive. One part endured the torture. Another partlocked all of that away so Salvario could function. The boy stored the memories and every emotion tied to them. He made revenge his only reason to exist. For twenty-five years, the boy drove him, protected him from himself, kept him alive when any normal person would have died or killed themselves. The boy has been trapped for twenty-five years, watching Salvario live, waiting for the day they’d finally get justice. And now Salvario is asking him to just disappear. To let go of the only thing that’s kept him alive.”
He shakes his head. “There’s no medication for that. No therapy that can convince a traumatized child to willingly die. We can’t reason with him, can’t negotiate. We can’t even reach him most of the time. He surfaces when Salvario tries to heal, and when he does, he drags Salvario back into the memories to remind him why revenge exists.”
His voice drops lower. “I’ve seen patients with dissociative disorders recover. I’ve seen integration happen. But those patients had parts that wanted to heal. That child doesn’t want to heal. He wants justice. And until that boy believes that letting go won’t betray what happened to them and his mother... Salvario will never be free.”
He turns to Salvario, bends, and checks his pulse. Then straightens, looks at me.
“I’ll be downstairs. Call if anything changes.”
I nod. He leaves.
I stay there, beside the bed.
“Salvario will never be free.”
The words tighten around my chest. I drag in a long, slow breath and look up.
“I couldn’t save your Salvario from himself, Alba.” The wordsare weighted with failure.
Chapter 27
Elowen
Mom lifts the hem of my skirt and checks for the gun. And the knife.Then she checks the pepper spray on my other thigh. And the tracker.
“No matter how uncomfortable it gets, don’t remove any of these.”
I chuckle. “Mom, how many times will you repeat this?”
“I’m worried sick.” She smiles, but her brow is furrowed.
“You need therapy.” Dad and I say in unison, then burst out laughing.
She rolls her eyes,chuckling.
In the past week, Pa has given me solid gun and knife training. I’m now well equipped to kill one or two untrained people, if needed, and to save myself from an equal number of trained people in a desperate situation.
I don’t think I’ll actually use this training. But if it gives my family peace of mind, I’m ready to walk around armed. And honestly? It’s kind of cool.
The car stops at the back entrance of my concert hall. I pull on my jacket and mask. My door opens from outside. A team of bodyguards stands waiting.
