Page 93 of Condemned By Betrayal
“I’ll stay, but you have to tell me why you want me here.” I settle back against the headboard.
She tilts her head toward me. She’s withering by the second.
“I will hate myself for letting you do all that to me, and for enjoying it,” she says, her tone almost detached. But I know she’s affected. Far more than she’s letting on.
“What do you feel when that bastard tries to get close to you?”
The frenzy sparks back through my synapses. It had gone quiet when she said she hadn’t let him touch her. But I know he must have tried. Why wouldn’t he? I clench my jaw, forcing the rage back down.
“Whenever he gets close, you take over my mind.” She speaks hesitantly, then pauses. I know she has more to say, so I don’t intervene and wait for her to finish. In an even lower voice, she continues, “I feel like I’m in the wrong place.”
Her words still the chaos instantly.
“Don’t you understand what that means?” I ask softly.
“I understand. It means you’ve ruined me.”
And just like that, I’m furious again. I lower myself over her, planting both hands on either side of her head.
“You’re not that dumb. You know damn well it means you want me, and that’s why you’re feeling this useless guilt. You think you should want Salvario, but your own body and mind are against it.”
She searches my eyes like she’s looking for a way out of the maze she’s built around herself.Why the fuck can’t she just leave that motherfucker and move on with me?
And then, God knows from where, she spouts the nonsense I never thought I’d hear again. “How are you not Salvario? When you look at me like you can feel me more than I can feel myself. How are you not him when you look at me exactly the way he used to? He doesn’t look at me that way anymore.”
It fucking infuriates me beyond my ability to contain it.
“You need to understand something, whatever you had with him wasn’t so sacred that you can’t love another man in this life. I can look at you like you’re my reason for living, because you are. That’s not a privilege reserved for that bastard alone.”
I cup her jaw. “Just forget him,” I plead. “You can fall in love with me, and you don’t have to carry this guilt.”
She closes her eyes, leaning into my palm.
“I love you, baby.”
She opens her eyes again, looking at me the way she used to. The high of that familiar gaze rushes through my veins. It’s the relapse I’ve been praying for, despite not believing in any higher power. The rush is so sudden, so overwhelming, it aches.
“Do you really still love me?”
“It’s impossible for me to stop loving you. It may never be roses and rainbows, I have an ugly heart, but it’s all yours.”
A small smile lifts the corners of her lips, but it fades as quickly as it came. Then she asks, “Don’t you want something in return? Or are you just selflessly in love with me?”
“When did I ever give you the impression that I’m a saint? I want everything you have in return—your smiles, your light, your heart, your music, your moans, every last one of your orgasms. And whether you want to give me all of yourself or not, I’ll take it anyway. I know what I want, and I want it at any cost.”I stroke her cheek with my thumb. “I’m too selfish to love you selflessly.”
“I know. I was just asking to be sure.”
My jaw locks. “Because that bastard offered you a selfless love with roses and rainbows?”
She nods.
I grip her jaw. “It’s just that, an offer you’ll never get to consider. There is no other man for you, no matter how many roses and rainbows he has to offer.”
She doesn’t say anything, so I lean down further and press my lips to hers. I hold my hunger back and try to kiss her as softly as I can—fucking roses and rainbows. I’ll give her roses and rainbows if that’s what she wants. Maybe the roses will be wilted and the rainbows starved of color. But I can’t lose to that bastard.
She kisses me back. My resolve to stay gentle crumbles in an instant. She slides her arms around my neck, pulling me deeper into her. Every coherent thought begins to dissolve. I slip my hand beneath her head, craving more contact. She cups my face, kissing me back with the same desperate heat.
My dick is on the verge of snapping. Watching her come a few minutes ago nearly had me spilling in my boxers, and now her responding like this, so perfectly, is making it unbearable. I fucking need to fuck her.
