Page 61 of Bound Bride
This could be it.
One test and everything will be okay.
My hands shake as I tear the box open and rip the test from the packaging, but it slips from my fingers and clatters in the sink as a knock rattles against the door.
"Rose?" Calvin calls.
"Give me a minute!" I snap loudly, then my voice lowers. "Just one minute." Or three.
Tension bleeds through me like a fever, sweat beads my brow and my t-shirt clings to my back as I squat awkwardly and piss on the stick while balancing over the toilet.
Like always, it ends up over my hands, but the stick is covered, and that's all that matters.
Once I'm finished, I set it aside and slowly wash my hands in the sink.
If I'm pregnant, that will be good.
Will it?
The thought doesn't bring me as much peace as it did before.
In the beginning, it was a simple stepping stone to saving my family from the crushing debt and threat of the Vasiliev brothers.
But now?
Now I know Kon. I like him. A lot.
He hasn't pressured me for anything, hasn't pushed me into any kind of role or mold. He sits and listens to me, we eat together, and he gives me freedom without question.
Can I really break his heart by handing his baby over to men who want to bring him down?
Guilt gnaws at each frantic thump of my heart as I dry my hands and then glance at the dreaded test.
Not pregnant.
Of course not. How could it be any other way?
Despair clogs my chest and my next breath catches at the back of my throat, causing me to choke and gag.
A tightening roll of nausea sweeps through me and I clutch the cold, porcelain sink, caught in the violent urge to vomit.
The sensation sits just above my stomach but it collides with the knot of guilt under my ribs and nothing moves.
There's just pressure.
Unending pressure.
"Fuck," I mutter. What the hell am I going to do?
Too much time passes and voices rise outside the door, so I splash cold water on my face, toss the test, and open the door. Calvin's face is a picture of worry he barely manages to hide.
"Are you alright?"
"I need to walk," I say quietly. "I just… I need to walk."
This time, he doesn't question me.
He simply steps aside and lets me walk to the door and out into the street.
